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If it made him love you less that wouldn’t make you less worthy of love.
Being occupied doesn’t make someone a better person or more deserving of love.
You’re good enough just how you are.
I agree. I am an only child and my parents have died (I’m 29) and it gets very lonely. I hold on to the people I love very closely. I think that your dad is probably very lonely and the visits are likely very important to him. If your boyfriend can’t understand that then he is lacking basic empathy.
The insurance didn’t know I was drunk
Sounds like you got yourself a one upper. You jumped from a ten story building, and they jumped from a twenty story building while it was on fire and in the middle of an earth quake. They're assholes who are annoying and dismissive of everyone around them. Because of course nobody could have possibly suffered more than they have!/s. Honestly I'd just break up with someone over this because it's super fucking annoying.
I don’t think it’s fair and I have called him out on times he wasn’t honest to her to spare her feelings.
Or, he still has feelings for his wife and they are exploring ways to stay together. And you, being the Other Woman, have no say in this. Why not have some respect for yourself and end this?
I wonder if the husband was offered something similar first and he too them up on it
Go speak to her. You both are at an impasse and the ice needs to be broken. You may want to suggest couples counseling. See what she says.
They're actually making it all up anyway.
If you stood up for yourself why would you want another person to do the same?
You’re allowed to have a no-porn boundary. More people than you would think do. If he isn’t okay to respect something that’s a boundary for you, then the relationship probably won’t work out.
I get really tired of people screaming about how stupid and immature people who don’t like their partners watching porn are. You are allowed to not like it, it doesn’t make you a bad person, or “ridiculously insecure”. Not wanting your partner jerking off to other people is normal imo. So many studies have proven how bad porn is for peoples mentalities and how they treat their relationships. If you don’t mind it, fine, but I promise you it’s okay to be uncomfortable with it.
While not super common, more and more people are choosing not to cohabitate while in a committed relationship or marriage. Especially people who are older and have been there and done that and just want their own space.
My partner and I never planned to cohab. We were both married and divorced before we met and just like having our own space. Some circumstances changed a few years in so we do live! together now but we were happy with our setup before too.
Logistically, being an hour apart and being that you don’t want to be in the city, it means she would be coming to you to visit. So…is that okay for her? It likely means that you only see each other a couple times a month. That doesn’t seem like enough to me but perhaps it does to you two?
As someone with PTSD myself, I can appreciate that being in a city can be more triggering. I much prefer living more out in the country where there’s no foot traffic past my house, no close neighbors, less noise, etc.
But it seems to me you two could/should come up with some kind of compromise else you’re not going to see each other much and the burden of travel will largely be on her. That doesn’t seem sustainable.
This sounds like a ton of mutually abusive behavior.
You should have said “I’m too exhausted to go out for dinner. I’m going to bed, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Instead you let him pressure you to go out to dinner and to drive while exhausted which is just as bad as driving while drunk. So maybe you should have a good nude look at your relationship and figure out if this is a one time thing or stuff like this happens all the time.
Not enough INFO. This move will drive a rift between my parents, and between my parents and my brothers.
Why?