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Did you have a pretty thorough dating history? And were you very open about it?
My guess is that he feels like your entire personality has been developed by your dating life. And basically all of your interests would thus be triggers for him.
What do you mean “men feel entitled to pay for women”? Men are just as entitled to go to strip clubs and pay workers for services as they are to go to barber shops and pay workers for services. They’re both legal in the US/Canada. I’m not saying all sex work is ethical, there’s plenty of coercion and trafficking that goes on to feed the demand for cheap sex. That’s why I think prostitution itself should be legalized and regulated as well that way all sex workers can be entitled to the same legal protections strippers are.
A lover who is insensitive to their partner is merely masturbating.
Yes, in hindsight I agree and made a further comment which the OP has replied to. Thank you for your response and positive response and apologies Have a great Friday:)
You're overreacting. Is this something you really want to throw out a whole 7 year relationship over?
This!
Honey, you didn't let those things happen to you. He did them. He pushed and pushed and refused your no's. That's not your fault.
You are strong enough. You can be exactly what you need. Let yourself grieve. Let yourself fall apart.
You will survive this. You will carry your mothers love with you like an armour. You will hurt, probably forever, but you will survive honey.
R/momforaminute is a really good place to post if you are looking for support. You deserve to get as much support as possible.
Her story is carefully crafted to frame her in the most sympathetic light. You will never know the truth from her. Likely she has been far more willing than she says. However, you only know your sweet, innocent GF, and could still consider marriage. She is trying to protect your image of her, while admitting to everything, but only partially.
If you are trying to see things from her perspective, break down the facts without the editorial content. She slept with her sponsor. That could be SA, but lasted over a year, so who knows? She moved out, partied, slept around, never told you. Dad shows up, sees everything. You get successful, suddenly she’s remorseful and a victim. Why all the manipulation?
What does she have to lose? Only the good opinion of a man that still might marry her one day. Through all of her alleged abuse and depression, she never confided in you, not even once.
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Yeah I 100% do not understand why you came to this conclusion, especially given the response to your last post. She doesn’t want to separate or pursue this guy, what good could possibly come from forcing her?
I don't think they're justifying cheating, they're justifying the conversation.
You can tell from the division in the comments that it's far from firm that the wife cheated emotionally, because once you get out of the more obvious forms of physical or emotional cheating, you get a lot of gray area – like is flirting cheating? Because then the vast majority of us have skirted that line many times in many relationships. Is locking eyes with someone across the bar but never meeting or even talking to them cheating?
Everyone has a personal line the further away you get from the more socially-defined boundaries of cheating.
It seems like most people who are in the “on the husband's side” thing aren't really grasping what the husband is ACTUALLY saying (rather than what they think he's saying). He keeps insisting that he's doing this for them or for her, but it's very obvious that he's doing the separation for him – for whatever reason that may be. HE clearly wants HER to date the coworker, which she has multiple times said she has no interest or desire to do.
Whether OP is trying to fuck around with other people out of a childish sense of “making it even”, is trying to get his rocks off thinking about his wife getting dicked down by the coworker, or is genuinely stupid enough to think this separation is a good thing, what's going to happen is the wife maturely continuing on with individual therapy and realizing her husband is immature and non-communicative.
Classic gaslighting:
“Its not that big of a deal”
“Youre making this bigger than what it is”
“I was just joking”
“Youre too sensitive “
Nah. You just dont like being verbally abused by a dick. Dump this guy. Your partner should make you feel safe and wanted, should comfort you, should make you always feel beautiful even when youre in your 80s.
If you are hurt. You are hurt. Period. Be with someone who treats you with love and kindness!?
It definitely is, like highschool vs college, too big a difference
Maybe she fears the friend will change the story and blame her, like people on this post are doing
While I agree with you there's still this huge mindfuck with americans whining yOuRe sExUaLiZiNg eVeRyThInG wHaAa and then being like wear layers because one of you might try to fuck each other for no reason.
I’m sorry, I just can’t give you an answer right now.
Because the answer is I’m a closeted gay man afraid of my sexuality and I enjoy having company.
Isn’t 6 years enough for you to realize your mistake? Serve him with papers and go your separate, merry ways.
OP is a troll or she’s been lying about her age in her posts.
Mfers wanna live like a 15th century monarch with an official mistress on the side plus whatever wench strikes their fancy.
Don’t be afraid to just ask them directly! Let them know that you want to be able to communicate openly and then see what exactly that would mean for each of you. One person might want to talk about it while someone else might not.
That doesn’t make it ok. 23 is too old for 18.
LOL NO
I’ve had friends who went through this, but reactions varied widely.
A few of my friends have been happy as long as the person was still their friend, because it was a validation of their identity. To quote a friend “it helped me know I was really a woman when she dumped me because she’s not into women”. Some have been super sad because they see it as a superficial thing and not being supportive.
Something to keep in mind is that she’s had time to struggle and adjust to this and you haven’t.
Is it weird? Not really. But since you both got together so young usually there is a time where the thought about what you might be missing out on hits. But if you are both happy and in a healthy relationship there's no issue.
Well it makes me feel a lot better that this is considered normal and not taboo. Sounds like a lot of people are getting it down lol.
Can you work past this? It’s nude to say. Is there another way to know besides trying?
It would be extremely disrespectful for her to try and talk him out of kids. Would she appreciate it if he tried to convince her to have them despite knowing about her trauma?
I’m unclear as to what it is you wish to discuss.
If your parents aren’t fun to be around, stop spending time with them. If they ask why, tell them. I don’t know why you’d need to have some big intervention. Just…stop seeing them.
Your husband puts his happiness and career above yours and your marriage.
I don’t see why you should agree with him, unless you plan to be “less than” for the rest of your marriage.
I care. Him finding out could put her in actual physical danger. The whole point is that he was abusive.
I just had another friend tell me a similar thing. But phrasing it more like “ Hey I haven’t heard from you in a while, but I had a lot of fun on Monday and would like to see you again. If you don’t respond, I’ll assume you’re not interested, and that’s totally fine.”
I’d rather not assume I did something weird right off the bat, you know?
As someone who purposefully got myself disowned by my father because he was a massive asshole, I feel I can offer you a perspective here. It was very hot to be cut off from financial support, but you know what, I got a job and I made it through. I finished university later, on my terms. My dad has never been able to tell me what to do again. It was worth it.
I understand how that looks, but that comment from 4 days ago was about someone else from a different time, and had nothing of any sort to do with this situation.
You barely know anything about someone after such a short time. At best, you love an idea of someone, which probably isn't the reality, and the illusion will be shattered pretty quickly.
You’re right I’ve been dating others too and just one message derailed me….
Why does he just see me as a side and her main)
…or we could learn how to trust and listen to women in 2023
No, she lives in Vancouver. My guess is Kansas was a cover
The guilt of lying to her in her final days will gnaw at op forever