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Best save the reveal until after marriage and two kids. Aka tell them you met someone at uni, then if you feel guilty later in life let them know “actually we met a few years earlier online and it lucked out uni was in his town.” My dad has a habit on thinking no girl is good enough for me so I can't talk about relationships to him anymore anyways. It's soul draining. They're looking out for you but come on… It's a melting pot. Contrary to popular belief we are not fans of racism.
Get into therapy to help deal with your social anxiety – a good thing to do, not just for this relationship but for all areas in your life
So what does it change about her now that you know? Are you worried she'll want to do it again? Is she different now? Why does it matter? She chose you. The end.
Has he been emotionally or physically cheating?
Normally, work wife or mom are interchangeable…I always used if for when I have worked with someone who needs help keeping their work together. We work closely on projects and I kept their head attached to their neck and made sure they met deadlines….nothing romantic involved.
I think his “preferring to online in the moment” is going to be a bigger issue than where the deposit comes from.
Is he saving for retirement? Is there an emergency fund after he borrows for the downpayment? Is his 150k enough? Is borrowing from the bank better than borrowing from his brother?
yes it is! IF you dont think its a big deal for guys liking your pic, then you have to see it as no big deal he likes other girls pics. ITs a double standard.
Well that’s weird because my now boyfriend lived in the UK, and I lived in the US. When I said I wanted to be just friends he was totally cool with it. Who tf is to say what is and isn’t realistic before even trying it? Sounds like you dodged a bullet tbh
I have to admit that as a woman, when I read this I thought “Welcome to our world. It’s where the husbands think food and clean laundry just magically appears”. But it’s not less important just because the roles are reversed. I don’t think she is taking you seriously. Some people may suggest not cooking any more or not cooking for her but that’s not going to solve much. I think you may want to have a third party involved like a therapist. She will have to listen. It’s not just about food but about partnership. You have lost your on-line if cooking because it’s expected if you. A therapist can help her understand how insulting this is to you and you can work on a schedule. Good luck.
That’s a much MUCH broader issue than this trip. You need to determine where you are in your relationship and why things are like this. Is it a cultural thing? Ten years and not even having tried living together is unusual.
What draws you to her? Do you think it's her or nobody? She treated you like crap, is that what you think you deserve?
One thing I always repeat is 'it's not your fault, but it's your responsibility'. It's your responsibility to improve yourself, it's your responsibility to move on.
Look at her realistically and know she's not healthy for you – stop pretending she can be. Build up your confidence and be happy within yourself, then open yourself to others, because there's many people in the world and many will treat you better.
I mean… I don't want to be rude but play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Being an affair partner is gross. Her having an affair was gross. But not only did you guys have an affair, her husband was willing to still move past it so you guys could stay friends with just the boundary of not seeing each other in person, which could have potentially changed in the future as they recovered, but the two of you couldn't even respect that. Actions have consequences. These are those consequences. Learn from your mistake and move on with your life.
Just tell them that the two of you had a difference of opinion, and it's best that you don't hang out there. Meet them in other places. If they want details, tell them to ask him, but be prepared to be lied to.
Maybe suggest a date night, where each of you prepares a list of topics you'd like to discuss so that you can get to know each other better and find out if it is a good match.
To be fair, the date swung on him first. I feel like it’s a pretty normal reaction to strike back
Maybe she needs a romantic gesture?
Have a celebration of your relationship. They want a party, they get a party. That you are not married on paper in the end shouldn't be their problem, just tell them that you are.
OP is barely self aware now anyway.
Think of him as an addiction, you can’t even have a taste. Move on, pal
I didn’t stop masturbating, but I did stop watching porn entirely. Now I just use my imagination or watch some spicy videos me and my girl made together when I do decide to have some fun time with myself, which is a lot less frequent than it used to be. Maybe cuz I’m getting older or maybe cuz I stopped watching porn, or maybe a combination of both.
Anyway, I said all that to say, my decision to stop watching porn so often and masturbating so frequently absolutely made sex with my gf much more enjoyable. Like night and day.
I’m firmly convinced at this point that porn is terrible for you. I don’t think masturbation is necessarily bad, but doing it too often can certainly have some negative effects. Especially if always combined with watching porn.