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?Skye? is that cunt, 22 y.o.
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You can't judge a new person by what others have done. You can be cautious but if you're at the point where you're worring day and night about it maybe it's you that needs to work on things. It's not fair to him that you're being past relationships into your current one.
Here to say that this is the advice needed. I changed mine to what I THOUGHT was titanium barbells about 3 months after initial piercing. They ended up being fake and I had a severe allergic reaction in the left piercing. I changed the jewelry again, albeit at a very painful time, but the damage was done and the reaction caused an abscess. First only internally and would drain through the piercing and a month later it had worked it's way to the surface. The piercings are still in because taking them out could have led to more damage but every few days, the wound opens back up ever so slightly and drains for a few hours. I've been on antibiotics for months now but it is finally healing. Skip the glow in the dark jewelry and keep in basic titanium barbells for a year. Trust me. The pain from rejection/allergic reaction is no fun.
Also, it's not cheating. They are just nipples. If that is his argument, then insist that he never walk around shirtless in front of anyone because…..nipples.
Oof yuck run
The answer about when to go and when to stay can be answered with a
simple observation.
The whole trick to Life is:
” to acknowledge things without being controlled by them”.
As long as what you are doing is of your own free choice, just act on
what your Gut…….”intuition”….tells you. Your Gut never Lies.
If however you are doing something because you are in your own way,
fear what others will say, or Fear what others will do, you are making a mistake.
Even “looking for the good in people and forgiving them” needs to proceed
from your own Heart and not just because you are told to, or because
everybody else is doing.
“This above all. To your Own Self be true, and it must follow……as night the day…..
thou canst not then be false to any man.” (see: “Hamlet”)
Honestly your wife had no business sharing your, or your family's, finances with her parents. It's none of their business.
Your wife (her big mouth + her parents = her responsibility) needs to tell them their comments on how you and your she handle your finances will not be tolerated and need to stop because it's none of their business.
I have sensory issues. Brushing your tongue is important. Or use a tongue scraper. Otherwise it's just nasty. Soooo many of the bacteria and food particles stays on your tongue.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to work on your self hatred. As long as you believe these things you think about yourself, there is no room left to love anyone else, because you will be constantly worried about them leaving you.
Start seeing a therapist and work on your self love.
Easy advice, pay for your own room.
He's made you an offer to cover the costs of the event and let you share his room if you want zero costs. If you aren't happy with the offer, just pay your own way for the part you're not okay with.
I've made a similar offer to someone before and wasn't expecting sex. Was going on holiday with friends, but all the friends were coupled up and, at the time, I was single. I was already paying for the room etc, so the only extra cost for me was transport (worth it to have someone come along for company). While I have zero problem entertaining myself, I figured it'd just be more enjoyable to have someone else there in the same position to wander off and have fun with when others were off being romantic on holiday.
She ended up cancelling at the last minute. Bit annoying as I'd already paid for her transport, but no big deal.
Had she said “I'm not comfortable with sharing a bed but I'd like to go and just buy my own room” I'd have been fine with that as I'd have still got what I wanted.
It definitely does help to learn more about it. The more familiar you are with them the less the fear about them is, as with most things.
The way he is carrying is worrying though. It can slip out and discharge if its loaded and the safety is off. He should be using a holster, and he should be leaving it in a lock box in his car. Anything less is less than legal in most states. I would talk to him and address the safety concerns for sure.
And remember if at the end of the day it still makes you uncomfortable that's super valid too, okay?
Let's be real. They've probably already slept together. Even if they haven't yet, they will. They've already discussed it and want it to happen. They'll have sex and then she'll forgive them because they have zero respect for this relationship and she believes their BS. Like they respect her opinion, riiiiight.
That’s great you have such a great relationship. How much do you hit him because your attempts to manipulate him failed?
I suspect that she's feeling down and disappointed because what was clearly a huge event for her, her whole focus for months, is over. Instead of understanding that, she projecting onto your family's behaviour with frankly ludicrous reasoning. Were guests supposed to spend the reception enraptured and in awe of her beauty, her dress, her table layout? And how long were they supposed to suspend their lives in this state?
Bro that is a fucked up thing to do. It lied to you. How can you even believe anything else they say to you.
Fuck that be out and lesson learned for him her whatever
Is it possible it’s not really him harassing her? Ie somebody impersonating him?
She’s “emotionally distraught the entire time,” because she’s caught in some sort of trauma response cycle.
Her nervous system won’t allow her to calm down or recognize reason.
It’s so sad to hear about this. I hope she gets the help she needs one day.
???
You need to end this relationship. This is not healthy at all. She needs serious help and honestly, you do too. I’m sure she has traumatized you during your time together and you’ll need to work through it.
Can you see a future with her? Marriage? Kids? Can you possibly imagine bringing kids into this situation? If she loses her shit over a wisdom tooth, what happens if she gets PPD? That could literally be life threatening.
I would take a step back if I were you, and ask yourself if you want to build a life with someone this stupid. I know that you love her, but objectively speaking do you respect her? Do you trust her decision-making abilities? Would you let her make decisions about your kids' health, or your life insurance, or your investments? It is grueling to have a partner you can't trust to be a partner, and who you have no respect for.
What a perfect description.
Yes. Is that really that weird? Like I want to keep playing DnD in the same group. I want to be able to chat with him when we both end up at the bar. I’m not saying I want to be besties. Yes I’d love to be in a relationship with him, but he doesn’t want that.
I consider myself imperfect but an overall great catch. He doesn’t want to catch me. To me in this situation, that doesn’t make him a bad person. Totally his loss though! I’m going to swim on until someone sees me for the wonderful fish I am and wants to catch me.
I work in child protection and come across this. I know someone personally who was 12 when he raped his 8 year old sister. He said “I didn’t exactly knew why it was wrong, but I knew it was wrong as soon as I started.”
This guy claimed he hadn’t been a victim of sexual violence but he was a victim of physical abuse from his parents at times.
Anyway, this family sounds like a mess and it’s time to get away from it. Imagine having kids with a person who sexually molested their sister. You would never feel safe leaving your kids with him. You will also never get this information out of your head. Who else knows? Who’s safe to talk to in the family? Which adults are hiding abusive skeletons that you will become entrenched with?
Because she made it clear she only liked him as a friend hence the friends with benefits.
I'm wondering how much pressured he feels to fast? My understanding is that fasting is between you and God. I get that the point is about the lying but you yourself admit that it's very important to you that your husband is fasting. So what is it? The lying or the fasting? If you figure out what's important to you seek the conversation with your partner and understand that there is a lot of cultural pressure on him. Even though in theory it is each individual's business if they are fasting or not.
I’m not keen on issuing an ultimatum, but I’m not going to buckle on this issue. He may see it as only fighting over raves, but it’s become symbolic for a lot of problems
Time for you to break up with her. She's lieing to you. Tell you it's a game when in fact she's going to hook up with guys.
She hasn't grown up yet. She wants to be single
Tell her, go play your game. I'm done with this relationship.
You canceled on him 3 times and it sounds like you only hung out with him the last time because he kept asking to, not because you actually wanted to. Maybe he picked up on that? Maybe he thought you were about to dip so he just yanked the bandaid off? Who knows. This is unfortunately a part of dating nowadays.
He is just not that into you. No need to obsess over it. Lots of people aren't each other's type. Have you even communicated about how you each feel? Like, does he even know these are romantic dates, or does he see you as a friend? Checking out other women while on a date… Commenting about attractiveness when it could offend you… This guy is either rude, dumb AF, or oblivious to your true feelings. Which is it?
Is sexual intimacy a need of yours? Is physical touch your preferred love language? I think approaching this from a love language needs standpoint would help. To be clear do not use your love language as a way to manipulate someone, especially sexual intimacy. But if physical touch is important to you, voice it as such, and trust that your partner will hear you. “Hey, I’ve been doing some thinking and I think physical touch is my primary live language. I know we have differing sex drives, so I’m not pushing on that, but I’m feeling a lack of touch. Can we non-sexual touch action that you’d like more of more often?” (Examples of touch that acceptable to ask more from s partner who has differing sex drive: Cuddle under a blanket together, hold hands when you’re on a walk, hair pets, massage)
You mentioned you’re not interested in an open relationship. Unfortunately, this is a great example of where a poly relationship could thrive. Many people see poly as “what am I not giving you, why do you need more than me?” But I see it as, nobody will ever meet 100% of your wants and needs. Ideally you find someone who can meet as many as possible, but sometimes there are desires they can’t meet. Example here, your current partner meets a majority of your needs, but you sexual desire is different than your partner. If you were open to poly, an entire relationship could be as simple as, we (you and someone else, not your current partner) watch a movie, cuddle, fuck, and sleep together once every other week or once a month. Not all relationships have the same level of connection on each facet of your relationship. Sometimes, a relationship just needs to meet a need that isn’t being met elsewhere. But, I’d suggest not pushing into poly from an unstable relationship position, and only go that way with intention, and open communication with a partner.
Ok keep telling yourself that. Fwb that drag on like this are only for women don’t respect themselves and are lying tk themsleves that the relationship has a future
When they come over I'd just say “hey how do you think it looks, not bad for a reclaimed rug”. Don't try to hide it wear your dumpster diving prowess loud and proud. 🙂
I don’t think this is about your stiffness or whatever bs he’s claiming about sex. I just don’t think he wants to be in this anymore. That feeling manifests into all sorts of complaints about a partner that aren’t usually very valid. Just cut your losses, because even if he did somehow mean what he said about you being the love of his life, this won’t get better because he doesn’t want it to.
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We have been married for a little over a year and she has turned into a completely different person. I feel like she lied to me about who she really is during the entire time we were dating. There have been several situations in the beginning of our relationship where she lied to me about something huge and the only reason I learned about them was from my own investigating. Each time it was an extreme betrayal. I forgave her but I feel like a fool for doing so. As a result I cannot trust her. My guard is always up. I'm always suspicious of her. And the worst issue is when we fight, even if it's something minor she takes things to the extreme. We are currently sleeping in separate rooms because she is angry at me for working late. I'm the sole bread winner pay all the bills I have 2 jobs and I work from home. So my working late was literally me downstairs in the office past midnight. She was up stairs. I'm sick of the pointless fights. I'm sick of always feeling like she's hiding things. I'm sick of this marrage.
Ugh. I cut off a lot of female friends for a woman and just don’t. They’re trying to control and own you.
Honestly… I thought about him having met a new person first thing….