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When you think about it, it is easier to be stimulated by a new person because they are new & different and there's a level of unfamiliarity with that person.
Some may poo poo this suggestion but letting your husband see you totally hot too often allows him to get too familiar with your hot body. If you were to cover up, you'd be maintaining a level of mystery in your relationship. This is especially true when what you're wearing teases him visually, making him want to see what's underneath your clothing.
For those of you who think this suggestion is ridiculous, I speak from the perspective of a person in a multi-decade relationship who still lusts after his wife!
I don’t get why people go after me for having standards. She turned 19 barely a week ago and has a body count of 5. I don’t care if I’m dating a girl who has slept with a few guys before me but 5 is pushing it. Plus if she jumps from guy to guy, it seems like she has bigger issues. Plus the fact that’s he can’t maintain a stable relationship for long is a red flag in its own.
Bro. She's using you. Keeping you around as her backup in case her new bf bails on her… Do yourself a favor and block her. I know you still care for her and it's going to be hot but you need to think about yourself. Would you treat her the way she's treating you? Probably not. I don't think she respects you tbh. She wants to manipulate you into sticking around for her while you get nothing in return. Not to mention she doesnt even txt you unless she needs help.
Brwak up. He's not treating you well – “[he] has gotten more demanding than before. He does not want me to go out with friends and gets really mad if i talk to anyone else, or don't reply to his texts” – and he's not willing to stand up for you or this relationship when his family objects. He's not being a good partner to/for you, so you should break up.
How often are you at social events with your mother and your bf?
If it really bugs you, then talk to your mother. Point out that not only is your bf a wonderful person who makes you happy, but that you think he's doing really well considering English is not his first language.
Honestly, your mother sounds a bit unhinged when you described how OTT she was about your brother’s new girlfriend. Has your brother had previously bad girlfriends, or had life problems? Could that be why she is frantically projecting a bright future complete with HEA after meeting the new girlfriend?
If there are social functions with your mother, then every now and then throw out something amazing about your boyfriend, or something the two of you are planning on doing. Just remind her you're there.
Personally, if I was a new girlfriend, and my new boyfriend's mother was gushing over me and saying 'thank you for making my son happy'… I would want to run away asap. It's strange.
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She made it clear she’s not interested. Don’t be that guy.
Yes. Sexuality for some women is extremely complicated.
Some women feel shy in the bedroom or embarrassed to ask for what they want, or feel scared to hurt their partner's feelings by telling them they aren't enjoying what they're doing. Then, there are women who have libido issues that are either caused by hormonal or medication issues. Psychological blocks are also difficult to overcome. Physiological issues. Religious oppression. Relationship issues, etc. Or, it could be a combination of some or all of the above.
What a great update. Even though you both have work to do, it seems like you are both going in the right direction together.
Interesting that there was no word from the parents; hopefully this no contact will wake them up to what matters in life.
Enjoy your trip!
Most people are not going to accept their spouse being a prostitute or selling any image for the sexual gratification of others.
Instead of having a conversation about it, you immediately told him that his opinion didn’t matter to you and you would do what you wanted.
This gave him a preview of what marriage to you would be like, and he didn’t want it.
Before you enter your next relationship, consider if marriage is for you. Marriage is making a team, and requires more consideration and compromise than just being in a boyfriend girlfriend relationship.
She didn't realize she doesn't love him, she just realized she doesn't desire him
What's the difference here?
I'm with your sisters here. Why would you apologize? I think you nailed it. She was being condescending and is definitely jealous. Why would you count such an unpleasant person as a friend? Do NOT apologize to her. She owes you an apology.
If stealthing is a form of rape then surely so is this.
I'm not sure why you'd even contemplate staying with him.
That he lied to you and then BLAMED you for lying is a gigantic red flag. It's the same language of abusers: “look what you make me do” while they are beating someone so badly that they send the person to the hospital. It would be one thing if he said “I lost my job and I was insecure and didn't know how to tell you” but it's not what happened… he blamed YOU for being insecure. Perhaps you could tell him that, that you are upset that he is blaming YOU for his bad behavior. And carefully observe his reaction.
WRF?
Really ?! Thank you for your input but if you don’t mind me asking, how come ?
Apologies for what exactly? And to who? What am I missing here?
Were you aware that before the nazis went after Jewish people, they targeted the LGB and especially T people first? And that their rhetoric and actions are exactly the same as what is currently happening in the USA?
You can't.
If she doesn't trust you. Then she doesn't trust you.
You can not have a real relationship if she has trust issues.
She needs to go to a therapist to get over her issues.
Hey just when she calls because the other guy drops her as well don’t pick up the call put her on the block list and enjoy life my friend, you finally get to do that
Find a tenant lawyer, start the eviction process.
He’s a cheater, and I’m afraid that because of the age difference he’s trying to control and being mean to you to get you in line. I actually think the best course for used to get your ducks in a row and leave the relationship. It’s not healthy for you or your babies or your babies
Haha it went too far then
Sounds really clingy to me. I don't think I'd be able to handle that.
You can't change other ppl, only your reactions to them. You have to decide if this is worth continuing. What this will look like moving forward with you two.
a boundary is something that can be personal or it can be relational. for example, being exclusive is a relational boundary. you can't control what your partner does but if they sleep with another person it's crossing a boundary.
id also like to add i never said anything about her behaviors being acceptable, my thing is only the statement about boundaries because i agree with you on that part.
Yeah that’s weird shouldn’t say I love you in a few weeks. He doesn’t love anything in 3 weeks except if he has a child. Just doesn’t make sense. I’d be nervous if I were you. Sounds like a future restraining order ?
Yep I just commented that when I left my ex-wife in 2013 I also left my beloved dog. It hurt, but I knew my ex needed her more than I did in the situation. I ended up adopting a former street dog from Mexico a year later and had her until she passed away in January 2022. The dog I had with my ex will be 13 in July if she makes it! I still get photos approx every 6-12 months which I really appreciate.
Idk how to put years but it’s supposed to be 65 months
TikTok is not a great source for healthy relationship advice. Try reading some articles by psychologists, etc for more useful advice.