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Ask yourself this, would she attack her boss or a police officer or her parents or friends like that if she was frustrated? If yes, then she has severe problems with self control that would make sharing a life with her extreme nude, as she could struggle to stay employed and out of jail or even maintain friends. If no, then she has control but she thinks it’s okay to abuse you.either option is NOT someone you want to share a life with.
But for glossing over the documented history of her physical abuse, I’d be right there with you. But if she can’t control her body while triggered, that baby is in danger regardless of how empathetic OP gets.
There is things logical about bonds. It's logical for me to, for instance, want to help my friends, or see them succeed, or hang out with them. Those are things that happen. They are logical.
And knowing how general bonds work, and being confused about a crush are two entirely different things.
Also, “she would drop her guy then get with someone else” if she “had a better option”? While sure, that makes sense, but may I remind you, again, we had known each other for 2 weeks. And with the school system, we had talked for 5 days, 1 hour and a half for each. That's like 7 hours. You can't honestly sit here and think that a cumulative of 7 hours would be enough for her to drop a dude she's been talking to for a month.
Never said hope was a strategy. Not that big of a deal if I sit here and have hope she likes me. It's not like I'm doing nothing but hoping, I'm making moves and finding new ways to progress while hoping for the best. Sometimes optimism is the best catalyst for a strategy. You could learn a thing or two about that.
And whatever this “drop her if she doesn't like you” bullshit is, is just that, bullshit. Let's say I do confess and she doesn't feel the same. Alright, I'll be sad, maybe take a day to recover, boom. Just like that, back to being friends. Is it seriously unheard of for you that people have been rejected by their crush and stayed great friends? It's because people like that know how to control their emotions and not get pissy when someone doesn't like them, which considering your mindset, seems to be what you do.
You've been in this position twice but, you haven't been in my head twice and as far as I know, the person I like and the minute details make your situations and mine, far different. Please learn anything about logic before you make any claims.
There MAY be a lot going on that we are unclear about. Let me start by saying OP I am sorry that you are experiencing this. You're just a kid, and it makes me sad. What also makes me sad is that, the reasons for your father's concerns are also unknown but I have this gut feeling that he may be thinking that the divorce/separation could potentially be affecting you, and not that you are abnormal or that anything is wrong with you. There exists a world where your dad could be worried that the separation between him and your mother could be making you become reclusive and maybe slip into a depression and he is feeling guilty about it, in silence. There's a word for this. It's called anhedonia.
For all we know, the guilt is probably eating him alive and that's why he can't vocalize it. This is just me, throwing out a scenario where, your dad is a loving person, and his intentions may be good, but they aren't being received that way. These divorce/separation situations are always really tough to sift through, but there's a telling sign that he does care right? He sought unsolicited therapy for you. Maybe he's in his own head. Don't try convincing him that you're normal. Talk to him about the divorce. Ask him if he's OK and ask him if he wants to ask you if you're OK.
Sorry again little one. You're brave and smart for coming here for help. You're a good kid. Keep it up
Bro you're 26. You got all kinds of years left. Just keep working away on your own career, keep hitting the gym, read some books, enjoy hobbies, etc. etc. – most of the time, life introduces people to you when you are not actively looking for it. I don't know why the universe is that way, but it seems like it is. The second you stopping giving a ****, and I mean that truly, is when things will open up.
/r/nothingeverhappens
yeah yeah i know it's not healthy behavior but like… damn this went nuclear fast
They rhyme ?
a part of me wants to see him to see if he would say anything… I know it's stupid, but I don't know what to do, and I've been thinking about whether or not I should reach out for over a month.
Closure is a myth. Put everything in a bag and either arrange for him to pick it up outside your place or drop it off at his place.
I May have jerked into a rubber once or twice I’m my teen years just being curious. But seems like odd behavior for a 30 yo with a wife.
very bad and biased take on the situation.
So she embarrassed you, abused you, humiliated you. Today, she's attempting to manipulate you. And, you want this girl?
“So fucking childish”. You said it yourself.
I had a 17 year relationship and never once did I do something like that. Not even close. But it was done to me and I let it happen because I lacked self respect. All I know about you is what you wrote here but do you think that's what's up with you? No self respect? Time for self reflection.
No, you're missing the part where she's had to go with them to every doctor's appointment, every license renewal, and every other kind of in person thing they've ever had to act as a translator for them, since she was a small child, because they have been living in a country for 30+ years now without actually dealing with the language barrier themselves. They've made it OPs problem. They are not helpless, they've had decades to figure this out.
Yeah she should definitely lie about that. Be been asked this is most relationships, and I’ve lied in most of them. It’s just common courtesy.
Now that she said it though, what can you really do? You either like her enough that you force yourself to forget about it or you aren’t really that into her, in which case you just shouldn’t take the relationship too seriously and enjoy it in the moment.
Nothing wrong with losing attraction when your partner reveals an ugly side to himself. You have to decide of this is behavior you want to on-line with and eventually be a part of in one way or another later.
Thanks so much! ☺️
Ditto