She will find someone else that doesn't mind….I know it's hot for you to wrap your head around, and I mean no offense…..but while not all, there IS a group of women who do this, because they can… they're not stupid, but they play it, because they can rely on their looks…..I know you say that's not it for you, and I get that….. but you're still in the scenario in either case. I've seen this play out in the work place, in the relationships of male friends/coworkers, etc.
You can't be late on rent…. she can only spend what you give her…. you need to budget, set an amount for food, allowance, expenses…. you can't give her carte blanche access to the finances, because she will spend it….. you have to build up the kingdom before you can treat her like a princess….I know you want to give her everything, you just don't have it yet…. the focus needs to be on growing your business right now….. playing the long game so that down the road, when successful, she can have the choice of staying home…. and you can treat her to expensive things….
Now's not that time…. the beginning of a marriage takes two to put down that foundation….
You can't force her to do anything, but what you're seeing right now is her character….. and she knows exactly what she's doing.
You can date whoever you want. But being a stepfather is not the same thing as being a replacement father.
Your views seem skewed. Each situation is different. Each mother is different. Each child is different.
Do you homie. My husband wasn’t sure he was ready to be a stepfather either. Nbd. We still traveled and made memories. It’s the amount of work you’re willing to put in.
Your shits never gonna be what you expect. Just letting you know. I never expected to have or do half the things I have, or take care of the things I do. Just perspective. But there’s nothing wrong with how you feel. It’s a lot.
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What isn't fair to you exactly? Give her some time!
What she'll do in Toronto? Be miserable? Any positive things happening in Toronto that you can talk to her about? How do you see her there..what she would do, what will excite her there? You?
This is why kids shouldn’t get married, first of all privacy in the bathroom means a little less when you’re married. My husband and I go to the bathroom while each other is in the shower all the time. Secondly, her threatening suicide is super manipulative. You guys already need counseling.
Some people want a lack of safeguards for a reason, some people want it to be extreme. If they sought you out then there was a reason, and they entered into it in a consensual manner understanding what they were getting themselves into.
They are close because they know each other for a really long time, like 10 years. When drunk he gets pretty sentimental, for example when he's out with friends I ways get a few texts about how he misses me and loves me. He is afraid because she doesn't know it was meant platonic, I guess. And he doesn't want drama or potentialy lose both of them (her and her bf)
This is such a great reply, especially the whole not having kids this young. I knew so many people in the army who were having kids at 18, 19, and 20, and while they were definitely happy, it was pretty easy to tell how much they hated their lives sometimes. Even having an animal makes things difficult, Much less a whole human, and I don't just mean cuz you can't go clubbing all the time and stuff, doing literally anything spontaneous is very difficult when you have a baby.
They're dumb as fuck, he would've abused you too if you were in your sister's position. You were lucky you didn't get to see his true nature.
I don't understand how any of this is your fault when you had no idea. Let them sort this shit out by themselves lmao. You'll do much better without them.
I guess that may be what I’m doing I’m really not sure what my feelings are but idk I do still love her and yeah I’ve never been alone im also just super scared I’ll regret all this
I’m sure the dog and the ex are good people. That’s why it’s a problem. If she’s already prioritizing his feelings over yours, then how does this not get worse ya know?
I wouldn’t say the situation was that bad until the visits got sneaky. That would be too much for me.
Ask her if she is. If she is then welp.
What is a MLM?
Our girlfriend.
She will find someone else that doesn't mind….I know it's hot for you to wrap your head around, and I mean no offense…..but while not all, there IS a group of women who do this, because they can… they're not stupid, but they play it, because they can rely on their looks…..I know you say that's not it for you, and I get that….. but you're still in the scenario in either case. I've seen this play out in the work place, in the relationships of male friends/coworkers, etc.
You can't be late on rent…. she can only spend what you give her…. you need to budget, set an amount for food, allowance, expenses…. you can't give her carte blanche access to the finances, because she will spend it….. you have to build up the kingdom before you can treat her like a princess….I know you want to give her everything, you just don't have it yet…. the focus needs to be on growing your business right now….. playing the long game so that down the road, when successful, she can have the choice of staying home…. and you can treat her to expensive things….
Now's not that time…. the beginning of a marriage takes two to put down that foundation….
You can't force her to do anything, but what you're seeing right now is her character….. and she knows exactly what she's doing.
To add to this. I say let men have their preference. As we all have them.
Granted, the fall out of their preference is that the dating pool will be extremely limited, but, that's what they're choosing and are free to do so.
You can date whoever you want. But being a stepfather is not the same thing as being a replacement father.
Your views seem skewed. Each situation is different. Each mother is different. Each child is different.
Do you homie. My husband wasn’t sure he was ready to be a stepfather either. Nbd. We still traveled and made memories. It’s the amount of work you’re willing to put in.
Your shits never gonna be what you expect. Just letting you know. I never expected to have or do half the things I have, or take care of the things I do. Just perspective. But there’s nothing wrong with how you feel. It’s a lot.
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So she also have to quit her job?
What isn't fair to you exactly? Give her some time!
What she'll do in Toronto? Be miserable? Any positive things happening in Toronto that you can talk to her about? How do you see her there..what she would do, what will excite her there? You?
Look up limerence on Wikipedia. This is not “the one” you are experiencing limerence
This is why kids shouldn’t get married, first of all privacy in the bathroom means a little less when you’re married. My husband and I go to the bathroom while each other is in the shower all the time. Secondly, her threatening suicide is super manipulative. You guys already need counseling.
Some people want a lack of safeguards for a reason, some people want it to be extreme. If they sought you out then there was a reason, and they entered into it in a consensual manner understanding what they were getting themselves into.
They are close because they know each other for a really long time, like 10 years. When drunk he gets pretty sentimental, for example when he's out with friends I ways get a few texts about how he misses me and loves me. He is afraid because she doesn't know it was meant platonic, I guess. And he doesn't want drama or potentialy lose both of them (her and her bf)
I just want to say your confidence is inspiring and i wish i had it lol
Looks like that Bf of 10 years has become an ex of 5 seconds, leave his ass
This is such a great reply, especially the whole not having kids this young. I knew so many people in the army who were having kids at 18, 19, and 20, and while they were definitely happy, it was pretty easy to tell how much they hated their lives sometimes. Even having an animal makes things difficult, Much less a whole human, and I don't just mean cuz you can't go clubbing all the time and stuff, doing literally anything spontaneous is very difficult when you have a baby.
They're dumb as fuck, he would've abused you too if you were in your sister's position. You were lucky you didn't get to see his true nature.
I don't understand how any of this is your fault when you had no idea. Let them sort this shit out by themselves lmao. You'll do much better without them.
I guess that may be what I’m doing I’m really not sure what my feelings are but idk I do still love her and yeah I’ve never been alone im also just super scared I’ll regret all this
He can work it out.
I’m sure the dog and the ex are good people. That’s why it’s a problem. If she’s already prioritizing his feelings over yours, then how does this not get worse ya know?
I wouldn’t say the situation was that bad until the visits got sneaky. That would be too much for me.
no advice, just want to say i want my awakening to come. your new life sounds awesome (minus the naggy husband of course)
I was thinking along the same lines as you. Sounds like she got fed up and left the situation.
I mean if they were equal partners he could have kept the apartment and not have to move into his parents, meanwhile she “bought” a whole new house.
Some of these posts are borderline fantastical.
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
Don’t be stupid.
Well said. Thank you.
Yea not so sure. There’s that famous saying that if 10 Nazis sit down at a table and an 11th person sits down that you have 11 nazis
You are bringing the dog in the mix.
The dog have nothing to do with this.
Your BF wants to be with his ex.
And you are using the dog to be with him. This is all on you, you can stop this mess anytime.