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I'd say that was a massive overgeneralisation. I think it depends what the problem is – some are solvable but some are definitely not.
I inherited over a million when my mom passed. I don’t tell almost anyone. Only my closest friends, and I told my boyfriend after we had been dating for 8 months and decided to move in together and it became relevant. My advice is that no one needs to know. You should only tell them if it becomes relevant and they have earned that information.
I dont see it working smoothly.
Do not get involved with a married woman it never ends well
Take this advice from someone who is older and has been there: It’s time to take a giant step back and think about all this for more than a few minutes. You need to consider if this is someone that you would want your future kids looking up to, and learning from. He sounds incredibly selfish.
There’s a difference in him wanting to buy the two of you a house and be a provider, and him buying a house that he likes for himself and you maybe one day getting to live! in it if he feels like it (which is what this sounds like).
You both need to have a serious adult conversation about this, because you need to protect yourself, and know what you’re getting yourself in to. Finances are one of the top things that leads to separation, better to talk about it now, before you make any life decisions. Sort out who will pay what, and insist you pay something. The last thing you need is to get married and have kids, and him use the money/“I pay for everything around here” as something to dangle over your head as emotional/financial abuse. I know it scary, but if you think you could lose him over something as simple as having an adult conversation about an adult topic, it would be worth it to save yourself potential future trouble/abuse. One of the biggest abuses is financial abuse.
On that note, always have a backup plan. I don’t care if you think he is the best thing since sliced bread. Save your money for a rainy day, and NEVER assume that ANY man (or any person for that matter) has YOUR best intentions in mind. Never become fully dependent on someone because it makes it so much harder if you need out.
Fuck your brothers girl and assert dominance in both relationship… joking…. stand up for the love of ypur life or you will regret till u die
I’m still holding on to the possibility of us getting together.
Don't do that. It's what's making you miserable. Move on.
At your age I thought people from high school mattered wayyy more than they really did. Sadly this goes for friends as well as girlfriends. Unless you live in the same town all your life, you're likely to lose touch with almost everyone. But the good thing is you'll meet a lot of others. So keep that in mind. There will be other girls, you just have to trust me on this one.
And what exactly is “this type of behaviour” and why shouldn’t it be normalised?
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Have you tried recreating your first few dates? Do you woo each other still? Just because you are married, it doesn't mean you both stop dating. Reconnect with what you fell in love with. Nurture that, and I'm sure things will improve
If it happens every time and no other time I really don't think you need any other proof. But you could straight up ask him as well and gauge his reaction, though I would proceed with caution if you do decide to confront him.
Dude, what is wrong with you? Is it wrong for Sarah to have cheated? Yes, it is wrong. But is it also wrong for John to have decided to remain in the relationship for a decade while mentally abusing Sarah and then deciding to kick her out now that he found love while he also cheated, and then using her mental health against her to have her kids taken away from her. This isn't some nuclear revenge fantasy wet dream. This is someone's life (if the post is real).
If the cheating really effected John, he should've just left Sarah instead of dragging it out over 10 years.
And Sarah cheating on John doesn't even compare to what he did to her.
We broke up twice. Once four months ago. That was him. And i broke up with him about a month ago. Both times he came back and apologised for his actions
Yep, you were a plain jerk to a guy that’s pretty decent. Find someway to make it up to him because if you go on here and read some of these subreddits you will realize your mate is the exception not the rule. You could do something extra nice for him and tell him how sorry you were and that what he did was amazing and you want the necklace. I don’t know why you would react that way when you saw you engraved it anyway. Good luck. We all do that at some point. Where it anyway and if he says, it’s out of pity, say no because my husband did a really nice thing for me and I appreciate it. Even if you don’t like it.
You have relationship OCD. I’d put money on it. I’m not a therapist. But this sounds like ROCD. I’m shocked a therapist hasn’t brought this up.
If the tags weren’t on them and they weren’t the right size, they were either used (gross) or he’s cheating. I would confront him and ask him why there were no tags if he just bought them? Most people keep tags on gift clothing in case it needs to be returned
That's how Skyler handled it in Breaking Bad.
Man you learned a lesson here. You were way too weak to allow her to sleep in a bed with another dude in your own place. Man hopefully this helps you grow a backbone. Never allow people to walk all over you like this. She is so disrespectful.
I'd gladly give up the decisions… like legit. I made decisions for YEARS when he was in and out of the hospital. He can't even decide what he wants for dinner most nights (his medical issue is gastrointestinal, so yeah.. ) but he comes to me for everything… to validate what and where we invest his retirement $. What streaming services we enroll in. Does he cosign on a loan for our nephew, even though I've been an adamant supporter of it. He wants my approval every step. And TBH, I don't mind him coming to me, but I've told him I trust his judgment on most of this. And I'm VERY vocal if I don't like something, which is so rare. I actually can only think of one thing: loaning $ to his sister after her BF physically abused her the 3rd time. I didn't want to enable her abuse by giving her $. He talked me into it anyhow, and now her son is living with us. He always talks me into HIS way. And when it's MY DECISION, then I get responsibility for it. But when I take ownership of a decision, like opening my own CashApp account and having my paycheck put there, then depositing what WE THE FAMILY need in the account (something we DID discuss as far as amounts) I'm making unilateral decisions and not considering others needs. I've been SO MUCH HAPPIER not having to explain my purchases when it's frivolous things like Starbucks or junk for the kids. And he KNOWS it isn't ME when there's a 7-11 purchase he doesn't remember. I no longer get the “did you spend $17 at the gas station??” questions, because he knows I only spend my CashApp for that. He has to look at his own spending first before asking me and then disputing if he can't find it. It's so liberating… but I get questions about whether or not I'm hiding money and what I'm spending it on.
This is absolutely normal for those who suffered abuse or carry any sort of trauma. It might take years for her to open up, maybe she never will. If there is serious trauma or bad experiences holding her back, she might one day decide to get therapy to work through it and then be ready to talk – who knows?
It may also be something that she is simply deeply ashamed of. Society often does its best to make women feel ashamed for so many things – having too many partners/casual sex, wearing too revealing clothes, whatever. Maybe she tried drugs. Maybe she was a sugar baby or generally with someone she had an age gap with. No one knows. But all these things might be something she deeply regrets and fears she might get judged for.
A year is not long. That's still well into the honeymoon period, where you don't know your partner too well yet. And how well or not well a relationship goes isn't an indication of when someone should be ready – it's how they feel about what has been. It may very well be something in her past that she never told anyone – not her parents, not her best friend of a decade and, now, not you. Don't take this personally.
Well, assuming the dad is telling the truth that mom made this agreement…part of this is also on her. The initial cheating, of course not, but after that……oof
i acknowledge his talents frequently. he has a lot of them! really smart guy and super hard worker. hell, he's a biomedical engineer. that takes some serious skill. i give him complements all the time.
he just sings…a lot…and very off pitch. even sometimes when i'm trying to have a conversation with him he'll just start and once he's done, he looks at me expecting me to say something. again, i'm autistic, so i have an incredibly naked time sugarcoating or lying about things.
Just for future reference. Make sure you work on your own anxiety yourself, because you will meet others who will trigger it like she it. Our mental health is something we need to face ourselves & not expect our partners to not “trigger it” if they “really love you”.
Its a mistake ive made myself & the aftermath of dealing with yourself is not fun.
Did he hide your existence from these women too?
Used her as in not in romance just to escape reality
Yes, I'd like to talk and come to a fair agreement on boundaries
Wildin lol my guy go back to being single
I wanna stay as anonymous as possible so I’ll just say I’m pursuing a degree in medicine. The $200,000 is both undergrad and my current program. I have no doubt I’ll be able to pay off my loans.
Ughhh this guy sounds awful. It sounds like he wants you to be fresh and ready for sex whenever he feels like it basically. This is definitely not about hygiene, it's about him treating you like his sex object, you must keep your hair how he likes it, you must wear the clothes he likes, you must keep your body ready to go on his whims. Yuk yuk YUK. Does he call the shots in the rest of your relationship? Does he pull his weight with the house chores? Does he try and control other bits of your life, who you see, what you do? He's significantly older than you. It sounds very ikky to me, but only you know the full story.
My sister has hooked up with/dated 3 of my ex boyfriends. So apparently, some people don't give af.
THREE thick notebook tomes from HS to 2 weeks ago of fantasies involving OP that fiancé decided to start reading whilst moving the best friend, who apparently did no packing before moving day.
Boom!
oh god this is definitely white people shit.
you do not need to rise above when it comes to anti-racism jesus god damn christ.
I'm sure you're a kind and empathic person but this sounds more like trying to keep yourself safe than not hurting someone else's feelings… I don't think you lack courage either. Have you checked your local women's services? Safety is important.
Peanut, your exGF's abusive behaviors cannot be excused — but perhaps can be explained, especially if you would speak to a psychologist in your city. They may be due to her having very weak control over her own emotions (i.e., a lack of emotional skills she had no chance to learn in childhood). My exW has that problem. If it is an issue for your exGF, you likely would be seeing 4 other red flags.
The first is a strong abandonment fear. I therefore ask whether, a few months into your relationship, she started showing strong jealousy over harmless events involving other women — or tried to isolate you away from your close friends and family members? She would view your spending time with friends/family as your choosing them over her. Moreover, she usually would hate being alone by herself.
Second, you would be seeing her rely heavily on black-white thinking, wherein she tends to categorize some people as “all good” (“with me”) or “all bad” (“against me”) and will recategorize them — in just a few seconds — from one polar extreme to the other based on a minor infraction.
Because she also uses B-W thinking in judging HERSELF, she would rarely acknowledge making a mistake or having a flaw. Doing so would imply, in her mind, she is “all bad.” She thus would blame nearly all misfortunes/mistakes on you and view herself as “The Victim.”
Further, to “validate” her victim status, she would keep a detailed mental list of every infraction/mistake you ever did (real or imagined) and would not hesitate to pull out the entire list to defend herself in the most insignificant disagreement with you. Moreover, this B-W thinking also would be evident in her frequent use of all-or-nothing expressions like “you ALWAYS…” and “you NEVER….”
Third, you generally would not see her directing her anger at casual friends, coworkers, or total strangers. She usually gets along fine with them. Rather, her outbursts and temper tantrums almost exclusively would be directed against a close loved one (e.g., against you, a sibling, or her parents).
Fourth, you are convinced that she truly loved you. But you frequently saw her flipping, on a dime, between Jekyll (loving you) and Hyde (devaluing or hating you) — often making you feel like you're walking on eggshells around her. Such flips would occur in a few seconds in response to some minor thing you say or do. A few hours or days later, she can flip back just as quickly.
Peanut, have you been seeing strong occurrences of all 4 of these red flags?