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Yes true.. thank you
There’s this called STD tests that actually tell you if you have one.
You dont think its the issue. Believe me, it WILL be, no matter what you think.
“If it can be fixed” – There is one thing to fix in here and its your GF behaviour. It's toxic, creepy stalkery ( checking all 2 years of tweets? GOD that screams crazy from afar ) controlling and manipulative. And does passive agressive threats ” when it will end” ( oh my god, that will be more than enough for me to dump her asap, I dont like beeing a doormat). Nobody has to put up with things like that, SPECIALLY when a boundary that was not known to you was crossed, when she does not have expressed in TWO YEARS that does not want you to see porn, not even bikini pics. A mature adult would have a convo about these things… you apologiced, that's all what you can do. Her feelings are valid of course, but being valid does not make them stop being childish, nor her reactions toxic.
If you want to salvage this relationship on her terms, youll need to continue being a doormat. If you want to try to convert this relationship into somethis somewhat sane, she needs to go to therapy. And I think that you both need to learn what a non toxic relationship is.
This girl sucks, don’t talk to her anymore
You don’t ask, that’s not how it happens, friendships are organic and mutual, whether through the neighbourhood, school. Work, a club, you randomly get talking, talk a bit more and if the energy is mutual, you gradually become friends and you don’t ask. Feels forced especially if the person doesn’t know you in terms of interacting with you.
I think this is above Reddit's paygrade.
You have a lot of pain and resentment; and your girlfriend did nothing but love you. She is not the one who rejected you, she is not the one who withheld her affection or sex from you. She is not the one who bullied you.
Yet you are contemplating leaving the only girl who, in your life, has treated you the way you want to be treated, because she didn't suffer the same way that you did. This is not healthy.
Seek professional help before this relationship disintegrates. Go to therapy.
Trophies ?
Going no conctat is totally possible for her. Her friends should be able to understand the situation, or they aren't that close as you are saying.
It's not very hot at all to arrange separate meetings, and if this end up breaking the friends group, that sucks, but that's life for you. Maybe she shouldn't have acted like a moron and go cheating.
If it's really so naked to arrange, guess the easiest option is for you to don't hang around her anymore.
I'm just not sure what to say if he is insistent on this psychotic behavior
“I'm breaking up with you because you're a psychopath and I'm afraid for my life.” That's what you say. Then leave.
I would never be able to look at my partner the same way again after all of this. The love of how many years together would fizzle out in an instant. You could try therapy but this is one of those keystone moments in your life where you have to assess if the boundaries your wife won’t set are a big deal to you. And clearly they are and for very very good reason. You already know what you need to do to protect your own morals and values and this is definitely a defining moment on your character. Stay with her and the family, and you are no better than they are.
Nothing here talks about the pain you caused your ex, how much of her life you wasted. You deserve to be alone OP, you are in pain right now and you deserve every last bit of it.
I thought troll comments weren’t allowed in this sub
If she can’t let you play board games with friends for an hour, what do you think will happen in the future?
Was it his first work trip, and how long was it?
Codependency is real, and the lack of self respect OP has for himself is even realer.
The point that was trying to make is that driving is so important to me even more than looks which I can settle for
I honestly wouldn't give two shits what my bf's opinions are, I'd still do whatever the eff I wanted, he is NOT your boss/master etc.
He's the problem – he is lazy and useless and doesn't respect you at all.
Do you have any friends or family in the area to reach out to? I know this feels embarrassing, but never undervalue your support network. They will absolutely go to bat for you and accompany you to the hospital.
As for telling him…”You find me repulsive and hateful now. I don't want someone who considers me disgusting in my delivery room.” And when he says that it was just a joke, ask him, “How is it a joke? What's the punchline?” And wait for him to explain.
He needs to understand that actions have consequences. If, as you believe, he's being influenced by his shitty friends, then he needs a sharp wake-up call.
You don’t DESERVE anything.
She grabs you down there! And you? Just hope? Dude take her to the bedroom! Practice with her
This is pretty foul in my opinion. Without any name-calling, I think it's unfair that you are feeling this way, keeping your friend around, and WANT to explain to him that you want to explore it. You haven't physically cheated, but it's very obvious that you are trying to work towards the next step of actually trying to get what you want.
Get away from this friend, stop flirting with her, and give your attention to the man you are married to. You're allowed to have fantasies, sure, but you're VERY close to acting on them and it's obviously taking a toll on you to an extent. You're emotionally cheating on him already.
I can only imagine if the roles were reversed and how you'd act if he told you he was flirting with his friend or co-worker and contemplated cheating on.
Just got clarification purposes and not that it helps his case or matters at all but:
He went to tell her about his attraction to her in the way of he told me he wanted to fuck her and then went and told her he wanted to fuck her because he told me that's how he “gauges his attraction to someone”
Then he apparently didn't mean to tell her he had feelings for her that just “came out” because he had “one foot out the door and said fuck it” and then flirted with her saying “hey I mean you are into people like me I'm your type”
I just feel used.
What did you do to make things awkward and creep her out?
He did.
Else he wouldn't have said that.
He rather put the blame on you. Than his member being too small/ not able to keep up tension.
I am sorry, but your guy simply doesn't sound to be much “into you”, physically.
If a guy really wants to have sex with you you being heavier or less heavy has not really that much influence on “you being too lose”.
I bet, with another boyfriend this never was an issue.
Oh absolutely 🙂
I mean, after 8 years, why haven't you brought up the topic of marriage. One of you has to bite the bullet and bring it up, instead he's apparently happy with the status quo of living together but not fully committing, and you are getting resentful.
Frankly yeah, I think either he isn't committed to you fully and had no intention of it, or he's actively hiding something from you, like a past marriage that he hasn't bothered to complete the divorce papers for, a kid with someone else. I can't see why he has his mail sent to another house other than either he's extremely lazy (though updating your address take less time than driving to your parents house all the time for mail) he's leaving himself an out by keeping that as his main address, or he's hiding something from you and doesn't want you to see the mail.
Either way, you need to broach the topic of marriage now before you get more resentful to even figure out wear is going on in his head.