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So if this has happened often, why didn't he recognize the phone?
Better question, which has been asked all over this thread, is why didn't he even contemplate for a second that it wasn't her phone? Why did he instantly assume cheating, and not use that time he took thinking (which he is absolutely allowed to take, Ive never said he wasn't) to think about any other possibility? Hence the comments made about him not trusting her, despite claiming he does. But all of this is not the core of our discussion.
I can only assume based on the information presented, which you have also done quite a lot of too btw.
I actually haven't. I have suggested several alternatives to your presented thinking, and stated that if you cannot prove it is a reoccurrence of behaviour on her part to not tell him these things, then your point doesn't hold up. I guess my only assumption is that you do not have some extra Intel that the rest of us don't, and we are commenting on the same presented set of information.
When did I claim she was intentionally betraying, disrespecting or being malicious to him by not communicating about the phone?
I didn't claim you said a single one of these things. I specifically said that you are acting as if this is some betrayal or sign of disrespect. And that statement I supported by referencing your language, how you talk about her being “absolved of blame” for things, and how she doesn't have the “courtesy” to tell him benign things, and how you hold her to a higher standard than you are holding him to.
And, quite ironically, you've completely twisted what I said about malicious behaviour, which again, I wasn't even remotely claiming you said.
Or, for that matter that you have bad communication with your partner or criticize the relationship you have.
Again, I didn't say you said a bit of this. I said you would have to hold me to the same standard as you hold OPs wife, and gave proof that you cannot. That proof was supposed to show you that OPs wife cannot be held to that standard either, I really do feel as if I made that as clear as I possibly could have by consistently tying it back to OPs wife's behaviour and his view of her.
And just a side note I only mentioned the AH thing because I got so many downvotes
Noted, and just fwiw, I haven't downvoted you. I can't even see your comments score yet, but I can certainly see how you would feel like others view you that way if you have been heavily downvoted. I personally only downvote bigotry and hate on Reddit, but I also report and block those sorts of people. There's no reason, in my mind, to downvote someone just because you disagree with them.
I will say that this conversation is done though, as I am seeing a pattern of twisting of words to make your argument that I'm not going to continue battling against. End of the day, just to reiterate my core point that I've made since my very first comment; there is a difference between a choice and a mistake, and you cannot painy two people with the same brush by comparing the two actions.
You have a good night.
I hate when that happens. Trip, fall and land on the cock of an attractive man.
he says that but also says he cant break up with me, hes unhappy without me and he really does act in love. this is why i feel so frustrated. is it definetely mot worth trying to fix?
You realize doctors can't just magically fix everything right?
This is the same logic rapists use, for what it’s worth. “Well she was so naked and flirty, I couldn’t help myself!”…..that doesn’t excuse their behavior, and it doesn’t excuse yours either.
For the record: I’m not trying to liken cheating to rape—that’s ridiculous—but just trying to underline the point that your behavior is your own, point blank, period.
After 3 years you still don't trust him? Why?
i hate that too, but i think the commenter was just talking about scams in general. there are a lot of sex trafficking traps where they use women as bait, it’s scary. it IS nude to trust anyone.
but yeah.. by far it’s not great out there for women. unless you ask other parts of reddit ?
So you’re allowed to have a meaning different from what other people might interpret when hearing it but she isn’t….?
Have you had a sit down conversation? Really go through the truth?
Haha I've never heard of this, but it was true in my case! We haven't spoken in about a decade. No bad blood, just didn't keep in touch after college.
Don't regret getting the tattoo, either way. It's mostly associated with good memories.
But it isn’t big bucks. Like my friends sister makes big bucks (150k a year) and so does her husband (150k)
They some rich motherfuckers lol
Insecurity. You need to deal with it.
You could go meet him at his date and tell him then.
What the fuck?
Don’t give her the ring. She’s acting like a jerk.
GET YOUR OWN PHONE, then get a therapist.
This is insane behaviour from your mother, and I'm shocked you've let it go on for 3 YEARS after you moved away from home.
Honey, this isn't what families are supposed to act like. A good therapist can help you get your mom's claws out of you. You're right. You're an adult, and she doesn't need to be checking that you're safe. She needs to trust that you can handle yourself. That's not your problem to solve for her.
Who cares if they lose the awesome deal? That's probably just a lie she told you to keep you under her thumb.
You deserve a soft life full of love. You are worthy. Stand up for yourself, honey. Life doesn't have to be like this.
That really isn't a conversation though, what people mean is sit down and discuss time-frames. “Temporary” is *sometime” in the future, start putting a schedule on it. Is temporary 6 months or 6 years? Is temporary till she finds somewhere else to go or till she dies? You have to talk to him like you did in your OP, not tiptoe around it, discuss it.
That said I get that you are feeling like it's you against an entire family, but that isn't how it should be in any way whatsoever. You want a future with this man you need to get your present in order. Futures are made with plans first, right now your in a holding pattern of regularity that you are just going to become increasingly irritated with and resent him, her, his extended family and you'll get so far gone you'll leave.
And guess what? THAT'S when he will all of a sudden have a plan to uproot her ass. By then you won't care anymore. Then what?
Thank you, that comment kind of just put things into perspective for me.