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Likely she sensed you were holding back and pulled back herself. After all, part of why that dynamic was so meaningful to you [and likely the same for her] was that you were so open and raw with each other. It was cathartic and real. And yet in the end you ended up doing your own mental gymnastics, albeit ones that resulted in you keeping her at arms length.
And sometimes that can be a consideration. You avoiding the risk of losing her may have lead to you accidentally alienating her. Sometimes when feelings come they change the dynamic whether you like it or not.
So I suppose be real about that. If you don't want to bottle it up maybe just be honest. At this point there is no longer much to lose, you are already getting increasingly distant.
What does he do when he's at other people's houses? I'm sure he chucks it in the toilet. That habit is not something I would be comfortable with in a house that's has perfectly working plumbing. Gross and unhygienic as well.
Wondering where OP might have misplaced that shiny steel spine of his.
If she had castrated him of it?
Or if initially he had never been made with one?
Time to grow one YESTERDAY, though!