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Don’t go. You’re still resentful and will be extremely tired due to his shenanigans. No telling what will be said. Explain to him that you will be staying home to recover from the lack of sleep you got, as you don’t want to go and cause others to be miserable.
No. You need to move on. He doesn't love you or respect you. If he did, this never would have happened because it wouldn't have been a thought. He's only asking for counseling because he got caught. His excuse is absolute BS. He's not changing jobs and will still be working with this woman. Nothing will change. The temptation will still be there. He's not going to give her up. He did this once, he will do it again and again. You deserve a better partner in life than that.
I understand. And that is true. Can’t remember many times he reacted the way he did like with this incident. This was probably the first time something like this happened. I have issues with distorted thinking and I will sit there and obsess “Omg he’s abusive he’s abusive” over and over again and it takes away from me confronting my abuse.
Your wording makes it sound that anyone trying to make themselves look like a person/character of another race is offensive. Then I guess we should ban cosplay altogether.
P.s. In my opinion only doing that in order to mock can be considered offensive.
Hey, he’s her problem now. Like, do you think whatever shit personality that treated you this way magically evaporates in his next marriage?
Seriously, one of my good college friends moved to Japan and said teaching English there was awful. She was talked down to by the other teachers and worked far harder than her coworkers. And the pay is honestly not good enough for any of that imo
Yes, it barely matters in the grand scheme of things he called the cops on her ??
I feel like you need to adjust your expectations.
People play around on dating apps until they’re very serious about someone or they’ve been asked out and want to be exclusive.
Her behavior is completely normal, I do think telling you was a bit tactless though.
Then you can bake/cook for them, make them art to take home
FTFY.
Don't burn yourself to keep someone else warm.
If you’re asking if he has an old fashion mindset on most things, the answer is no. I never really knew his views on therapy until I started going to a therapist for myself for my ADHD (I had to for a diagnosis about a year ago and then continued going for a bit).
Thank you, I just needed to know someone said something. Way too many thrusts in this post.
He doesn’t happen to listen to the Jordan Peterson podcast, does he? He sounds so similar to an ex-coworker I had.
Does he on-line in a fantasy world? What did he think was gonna happen?
I struggle with male friendships, I don’t know why. Not for lack of trying. I get along well enough at a party or something. Sometimes I meet a person with a similar niche interest and we geek out for 20 minutes. I really like that bro energy and want that in my life, but it never sticks. Or when it did stick, it stopped the moment the dude got into a relationship.
I am happily married and my wife loves my small circle of lady friends. So much do that they all hang out without me most of the time.
It’s funny, you wrote that your partner has a masters in engineering. In my experience, pretty much every engineer I know has limited social skills.
He does know the guy, from around the not safe neighborhood, and knows to not fuck with him and to extricate himself with a quickness. Gf, for some unknown reason, couldn't follow his lead and stfu so they can get tf going.
Should I also tell how I found out? I am really scared tbh
They all sound unreasonable tbh. I think it's entirely reasonable that you stick to plans you already made with your daughter over new plans with your wife and i don't see why that took time to come to that arrangement. Imo that's just how life works. Ofc the wedding and labour thing is more complicated though. Betty seems to be cruel and turning Amanda against you but everyone has already said that.
I can understand why both your wife and Amanda are currently upset. I think they're both in highly emotional situations and you should let them both feel how they feel. Amanda feeling abandoned isn't wrong. And your wife being upset that you weren't with her during labour is also fair. Just give them a bit of time and be comforting and reassuring to both and they should come around soon (Amanda sooner than your wife considering your wife's hormones are all out of whack atm).
It sounds like you've just been trying to people please Amanda's entire life. Like upset the fewest people rather than actually decide what and who you value and on boundaries. Why do you even still have contact with betty? Your daughters an adult so I can't see why contact with Betty even needs to happen, especially considering how toxic she sounds. You need to decide how important Amanda is to you and make sure you show that to her. You seem to lack consistency which is really important when it comes to relationships. You need to consistently show Amanda you're there for her. You're her dad. You're not going anywhere and that she's a priority. That's things like making an effort to talk to her often and inviting her over and being emotionally there for her when she needs you.
But in your op, you say you cancelled a therapy appointment with your daughter to go hang out with your wife. Of course your daughter doesn't trust your intentions or believe that you care. You've shown her thay you don't. You stood her up when she was attempting to fix your relationship.
I think its definitely worth telling her thay you want to build a healthier and more secure relationship with her but you can't do that with the ultimatums and hope she agrees. With your wife and newborn, I think a similar strategy of making sure you're looking after them and being consistent and reliable is important.
?. You’re braver than me. I couldn’t kiss someone that might give me gingivitis from his bacteria ridden mouth.
I'm always sad when I see these stories as I know how much damage both financially and emotionally the effect is on the kid
I'm sorry to say you learned too young that one of both of your parents are actually shitty human beings that see their children as their own personal piggy bank to raid
Nearly every time one/both of the parents is utterly financially incompetent and also see others as the solution to those problems
That means most kids like you come back on here years later telling others that they no longer have anything to do with their parent
Money : you wont see this again, normal parents will break their back to put cash back into their kids pockets if an emergency arose
The cash grab on you was not an emergency meaning your primary value now is $ to them
I've had leeches in my extended family like your mom that see money kids had as fair game, they never pay it back, only ask for more
As an adult I despise this type of parent but you're too young and close to see why you should just cut them off without losing a second of sleep
If it's bad now imagine what it will be like if retirement age is closing and there is fuckall in the pot, you dont want to be around for that event, I've seen the levels of guilt tripping put on kids by people that use kids for cash