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? Instagram @Naughty_Skull ?, 29 y.o.
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Why are you asking us when you literally already told us what you need to do? Quit snooping around, stop picking fights, go to therapy and take it seriously. Make the changes you need to make and then worry about your relationship, cus until you fix yourself your relationship ain’t goin anywhere.
Keyword here is that your “dating” in that stage she can do whatever she wants and so can you. She’s hanging with him because she’s still not committed to you 100% emotionally yet. Keep things with this chick casual and date other women until she decides she wants to commit to you then set clear boundaries.
You ARE still young. You have plenty of time to meet a compatible woman and settle down.
You aren't going to get any advice here that is going to rekindle his interest. You might as well try a love potion for all the good such advice will do.
It hurts, but he's just not that into you and possibly never was. He is 20. I was an idiot when I was 20. Most people are! In comparison to their older selves at least. He's barely more than a kid. Of course he's crap at this, of course he's selfish.
Why are you so into him? Ask yourself; is it his amazing personality or is it his growing lack of interest and deliberate unavailability that is driving you to want him more? Thebkess he wants you, the more it seems to make you want him. It's worth reflecting on that. He's a 20 year old boy who isn't treating you very well. Come on, you can do better.
End it on your terms before he ends it on his. He potentially lacks the maturity to spare your feelings or avoid humiliating you. Tell him that it's become clear that he isn't really that interested in the kind of relationship you are looking for. Tell him it feels you are a lot more into him than he is into you and that's not healthy for you so you are ending it.
And, on behalf of all future partners and for yourself, please, please please don't let yourself become one of those people who obsesses over a pathetic specimen of an ex, who can't move on and let's obsession with this one guy poison the next couple of relationships. Put him out of your head and move on
Lmao yes to this answer
That guy always believed that she'll return to him and when he saw that she's moving on, he suddenly wants to get involved in her kids life.
The fact that she's entertaining him and letting him ruin every plan that you have, says everything. Cut your losses and move on. Once moved on, go completely No contact as she'll be coming back to you very soon as when he will realise you're not in picture he will go away again.
It’s been two weeks just break up ?
You're right, I do only have one life. I'm also just terrified of setting out on my own when we've been together for so long. I know that's normal too, but the fear is hot to shake.
I also don't want to just jump straight into breakup mode if there might still be a chance for things to improve, but I suspect that's my naivete and stubbornness at play.
No, you wrote your sister also came and that the guy was your best friend. Two CRUCIAL different details. This doesn't need to be a 1 on 1 situation and this doesn't need to be someone they both don't know.
Yes, you should regret it and be ashamed. You couldn’t even have basic respect for your dead wife.
She’ll be mortified. You’re obviously a guy so wouldn’t get it
My thoughts too. Gf is simply an idiot who doesnt understand how her can have impact even if you are talking about fantasies
That’s all you need to be. But why are you with somebody who abuses you verbally and is hitting you while calling you homophobic slurs? Don’t you think that you deserve better and be allowed to explore things about you without being belittled and abused?
Your girlfriend isn’t a nice person. She is a bully.
Two parents he has a much fucking bigger responsibility not to abuse
Don’t be nieve, start there. She’s lying and your denying.
You are an adult. If you want to go to college and can pay for it, you can do so. Your mom has no say in it. In fact, she is trying to control you and keep you at home with her. She doesn't want you on your own and out of her hands at all. She's using religion as a weapon to keep you afraid to make your own plans and a success of your life.
Don't let her do this to you. Make your plans. You are not going to hell because you go to college. Your mother is in the wrong here.
Go get it changed. Don’t put it off to long. I just read a couple posts on here about a husband who did exactly that and the first wives kids got screwed.
Eh, 8 years of hiding, yea, its time ti come out buddy. If this were a different circumstance and he was straightforward with me, things could be different. Im done playing and protecting his ass
Thank you, for this great analysis, it outlines my thought process exactly. I will talk to him.
You sounds horrible person
While she deserves to know she is married to a cheater, you might not be the one to do it.
Keep in mind it could bite you in the ass later. If he or she hold a grudge, it could come into play later on. Once you meet the right guy and start a real relationship, one of them could inform the new guy about your homewrecking past.
Sexual incompatibility isn’t a small thing, it ended my last relationship and I regret not leaving sooner. You will find someone who makes you even happier than her without dealing with different sexual needs. Your gf is probably a lovely girl, she just isn’t the one for you. This isn’t anything to be ashamed of ending a relationship over.
So sorry to hear this, genuinely hope you are ok. Sounds like you are better off without him though – all you have done is stopped yourself finding true happiness which is now a possibility.
Doesn't make it any easier though. I promise things will get better. For now, just focus on doing the things you enjoy and that make you happy.
Yeah, it is reasonable.
“Witholding” is a bullshit choice of words, if she's not in a relationship with you then you're not witholding sex from her any more than I am.
Did he transition before you met him or recently?
Yeah I am sure they slept together. How to approach it? Walk away from it and find someone who is faithful and that respects your relationship.
We have sucessfully done so for the better part of three decades. Thanks for the permission!
I agree the additional context changes things a lot. Just going to talk about the post.
But based on the post alone, I definitely think the boyfriend refusing to go is doing a good thing. He shouldn't want to go if this woman will be there. We can agree on that much, right? OP seems to have wanted him to be subtle about avoiding Mary Ann, but I don't agree that that's the best approach. I think he should be open with his friends that Mary Ann was flirting with him and asking for shit that harmed his relationship. I think he could have been a little more graceful about begging off, but it's a minor complaint. I am sensitive to people throwing their partner under the bus about this kind of thing, but it doesn't read to me as fully that.
Like I do get what you're saying, but it also just feels like your real complaint (even without the additional context) is that OP stayed with this guy at all.
You’ve known him for 4 months. What do you know about him? Seriously.
Your girlfriend already has someone else in mind to have sex with. Your relationship with this girl is over. Run and don’t look back.
The amount of monitoring you're doing on his location is unhealthy.
Maybe if you had someone available in your day to day life (not LDR), you wouldn't have the need to hyper focus on where they are at 24/7. There is too much time on your hands when there is distance.
I love how couples say “We share locations because its safety thing” meanwhile it costs them their mental health and potentially damages the relationship due to the obsession.
Never have and never will share my location or turn on read receipts because of this.
You either trust your bf or you don't. And if you don't, then its not worth being in a relationship with him.
Whatever the case may be, I can tell you that monitoring your partners actions like a hawk will do more harm than good long term.
The wife & fiancé of your friends are rude horrible people. They have no place at your wedding.
Decide how badly you want your 2 friends at your wedding… without their partners. If ok with your fiancé. She should have final say. To see those women would ruin her special day.
Un-invite them if invitations have been sent or do not include the women’s names on invitations when you do send.
I've never had to make a pros and cons list for a good relationship.
only the bad ones.
I see you made a post where you two were reconciling and that he at first hid that fact that he fucked someone else while you guys broke up and you claimed it tainted the years you were with him. Yet here you are, you took him back, and now he’s using his disorder as an accuse to verbally abuse you. Sounds like you guys should of stayed as exs
You absolutely did the right thing! He displayed his true colors and I'm so glad you saw through it! It would have only progressed from there if you continued with him!
I would be sad too. Sad that I wasted time being with someone who has no emotional intelligence and is a horrible person. However I would also be happy that this was revealed before I wasted any more time. This would be a deal breaker for me.