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I think you may have bigger issues then…
He doesn't care. He's made that clear in his dismissing you and not even bothering to try. You are in love with the idea of him, not the reality.
It's really awful to compromise one's personal values because of any sort of relationship. It's really good that you have noticed this and I encourage you to voice this concern to all of them. If they still don't get it please try to seek outside help
Sweetie you can't go through a relationship afraid of your partner cheating on you. Not healthy for you or relationship.
If you are terrified you need to find someone you trust
You must be new here. Older men = rapist, older women = nbd
Also if it upsets him that you ask more info, it's safe to assume that he intends to continue interacting with this girl like that.
Don't let him flip it on you and claim you “pushed him towards her” by not trusting him. ?
You're not an idiot. You might have some fantasies that can't actually happen, but so do lots of people.
Why is he angry? Can't he get his money back? If he can't, then he can still come, but need see you after work. While you're at work he can spend his time looking around on his own. If he is still upset, then whatever. It's not like you can eat boyfriend visits or pay your rent with unemployment. How are you going to support yourself? If your bf can't see that he is selfish and uncaring anyway, and it's good you got to see his true nature before you get kids together
“it's been studied”
lol no. Not in any serious way.
“women in general”
No one is dating “women in general” they are dating one individual woman. Or maybe a few if they are a player.
It’s a man and a man. They are both he’s.
OP, let me put something in perspective for you. My boyfriend of 4.5 years makes more than 3 times what I do. I lost my job in November. He didn't kick me out. He didn't ask for a break. He didn't allow me to become financially vulnerable.
What he did do was ask that I take on 100% of the domestic tasks while unemployed, actively seek both unemployment benefits and a new job, and ensure our dog's life was more enriched. I enthusiastically agreed to all of these. I have about $12k in savings, and he insisted I didn't touch that. We would discuss what needed to be purchased, he'd give me his card and I'd buy what was needed. He also gave me a discretionary allowance weekly, so I wasn't without money to go to dinner with a friend, repurchase cosmetics, etc.
That's what partnership looks like. Please reconsider if you want to spend your life with this person. They don't value you as a whole human, but only as a dollar amount.
Even when people have kids together?
Is this how you want to on-line the rest of your life? You know the answer.
I think we may be missing a LOT of details from the OP on what is going on here. He doesn't specify how he initiates sex, but seems to be saying that she never does. He doesn't say if she comes during sex or how many times.
It's entirely possible she isn't enjoying their sex life at all and wants any excuse not to continue it. Possibly because of something on her end related to pregnancy or post partum issues, possibly something on his end – pressure, poor performance, etc. Possibly even something else or a combination of things. We just don't have enough information, and I think it's all speculation.
Tell him to keep some binaca on the bedside table
Tell him he needs a therapist for his insistence on this
Maybe shave for special occasions like your anniversary?
You’re romanticizing the what ifs.
Recognize that if you cheat on your actual husband, you will lose everything and hurt a lot of people.
Could you look at yourself knowing you destroyed 2 families? Could you handle your actual husband and your children looking at you with hate before they cut you out of their lives? Does your husband know you ran into your ex and have been fantasizing about him every day since? How do you think he’d feel if he knew?
Don’t cheat. If you have issues with your husband or marriage, use the age old art of communication and work on them as adults.
Both of you suck.
Of course he shouldn't have thrown stuff at you, a you should've respected when he didn't want to get touched. Like, he was eating and you still touched him when he told you not to.
Wow what a bitch
My dude. Who hurt you? This level of antagonistic badgering is unreal.
Once more, I am not making any point at all regarding the healing abilities of the body at younger vs older ages. You are the only one who is trying to bring that into this.
Having a baby changes a body irrevocably. That kind of change would be (somewhat) easier to take (mentally) at 30 than at 20. That was my point.
Have a lovely day.
I honestly think he is lying. I'm so sorry 🙁
I used to have strict rules like this around a few different sexual acts, including oral, and the reason was because I was sexually abused in those ways. Because I was a 13yo I wasn't shaving at all down there when I was assualted and as an older person needed to be totally bald to engage in acts to make it seem different from the abuse. Does that make sense? My understanding is that these types of rules are common in survivors.
Is it possible she has suffered sexual abuse and could benefit from therapy? I mean everyone can benefit from therapy anyway but you get me.
Honestly, I do not know. He usually tells me everything
I'm saying she shouldn't have a child with someone she doesn't want to be with. Like it or not, this man will be this child's father. He's not just a sperm donor.
Dude imagine changing your religion for a girl, just shows you have a weak character. You are a Sikh and your ancestors were butchered alive limb by limb because they refused to convert to Islam. You need to have a second look in the mirror at yourself.
Hey, FYI, the use of “egg donor” or “sperm donor” as a negative term is pretty offensive to families who used them to build their families.
In fact, donors are often kind, caring people who sacrifice for the good of others, and families who use them honor them. Quite the opposite of the awful, selfish people I OP’s situation.
This is the best advice. Just speak openly about how you're feeling and how her words are making you feel, OP.
She may not even know it bothers you as much as it does