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I would wager the vast majority of dog owners, including me, understand that eventually you can have the best of all things. You can teach the dog that it can be on the bed with you, but ultimately needs to sleep on its own bed and you can keep the bed clean and show your bf that his comfort, feelings, and presence are as or more important than the dog’s. You could also just be honest and say you inadvertently created this situation and you’ve come to realize it’s untenable.
It’s so rare to read a post and be 3000% on the other person’s “side”. Usually people tell stories from their own perspective and it’s biased enough to where we wouldn’t always understand where the other person is coming from.
In this case… it’s naked to read – between how absolutely HORRIFIC you are, and how he’s trying his best to deal with your truckload of bullshit, and then you’re full on stalking him, spying in such an intrusive and dishonest way… It’s just nude to read, naked to believe even.
Girl you are a train wreck. His customers who tell him he should leave are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. Get into therapy, deal with your garbage – because what you’re doing to him, simply because of your own unaddressed issues, is inexcusable.
Well if my child's father is not helping provide or even trying to do the basic needs as a parent then he can go. He is literally telling you he is willing to leave the relationship because he can't get what he wants. How does that say he is a good parent or partner
Basically moved a stranger in w you and your very young son within a week because you “thought he’d be a good father figure ” and the boy is already calling him dad? Then you said he “hasn’t been acting like the guy I THOUGHT he’d be”. You met a random man in the mall one day, ask him to go pick up your kid from preschool the next day and move him in w you in a week. Bad all around. Some women won’t even bring home a date in a week. Always meeting them elsewhere. Because you never know people until you’ve been around them a while.
I mean really his guy could be a pedo or an abuser or even wanted for all you know. This is very bad decision making. I have issues w men who seek relationships w women half their age. Most of them can’t find someone their own age because they won’t tolerate their BS. You found quickly that he’s lazy & can’t even clean or do laundry but plays it as a joke. Then you’re worried he’ll rub off on your son. Why weren’t you worried about bringing a total stranger around your son the 2nd day you met him? But now because you don’t want to hurt the bond they’ve already built you’re hesitating on breaking up w him. Oh and because it’s his birthday? You have to be stronger than this and you must protect your son always. This fast track reckless relationship has the potential to hurt both of you both mentally and physically if he turns out to be an abuser.
You asked what’s wrong w introducing your kids to someone you’re in a relationship with. Well usually kids aren’t introduced to someone new until the relationship has had time to build somewhat so they can know what type of person they are. You said yourself he isn’t what you thought he’d be. What did you think a stranger would be like exactly? I think the relationship was based off of lust because you just didn’t know anything about each other. So it wasn’t built off of knowing he was a good guy or a good provider or a good housemate or a good father figure etc. You saw him, he saw you and in a week moved him in your home w your son w o knowing absolutely anything about him. Now 2 months and realizing he’s not a good mate and now having very hot time breaking it off.
Plus your parents need to have given honest parenting advice from the beginning and told you he was too old for you, that you should wait on everything until you knew him better etc. As parents we can’t just go along w our kids even if we feel it’s wrong or a bad idea. We offer them guidance as best we can. But if they ignore us that’s one thing but they just said ok. Then only offered any advice until after you’re miserable and realized you messed up.
Your brother was the only one w sound advice but no one listened to him.
I hope that after this you realize the importance of knowing someone the best you can before making them family asap. It’s one thing to be single and pick the wrong man but w a young kid involved it’s not only just you that you have to lookout for.
I’m a retired LEO and believe me when I tell you people are truly messed up in the head. I made many arrests where people just met and next thing they knew their kids were acting weird, afraid to be left alone or in some cases just shut down completely because they had been messed with by the new person both male & female. You can never know them fully but you can slowly get to know them enough to where you can pick up when they lie, when they’re up to no good etc. this guy could lie to you about anything and you wouldn’t know because you just haven’t known him long.
I truly wish you the best and hope you can break it off w him w o any issue.
Is it because of your age?
Is he embarrassed of / by you?
Are you his side-piece?
These are the things I would wonder.
“for once” do you ever read this sub?