Oof, okay there are two major things to unpack here.
One, the “prank.” Drawing up divorce papers is not a prank and I don't know who on earth would actually find that funny. Was this a prank orchestrated by your sister or your husband or both together? If it was just your sister, she needs a SERIOUS talk about how unacceptable this was. Yes she's a teenager but she's growing into adulthood and needs to understand the consequences of her actions. If it was your husband…I don't know if this would be enough for me to leave right away, but I would certainly take some time on my own to think. If he did this to you, it was deeply cruel.
Second, your reaction. The fact that divorce papers had you asking for a gun immediately and seriously is incredibly concerning. Do you have a therapist? What's your mental health history? I'm really worried for you if you have no reason to live outside of your husband. I think that it is vital for you to reach out to a therapist and get some support.
Don't worry about what your family thought of your reaction right now. That is the lowest matter of importance on the list of urgent things to address.
Sorry to hear this can’t really say how to fix this I’d suggest spending some time with her without her sister and having a serious talk about how your not interested
My ex bizarrely did this sort of thing to herself. She and her sis had too much to drink and she thought it would be funny to embarrass me by getting her sis to flirt with me (I shot it down politely but pointed out it was a bad idea to GF) … A days later she’s practically in tears convinced me and her sis are going to get together.
Hah, think yourself lucky it's due to her pregnancy, I am that sensitive to smells all the time, and have been known to vomit from just walking into a bathroom.
If you aren't smoking now, why not take the opportunity to make it permanent, your lungs will thank you for it!
I don't know a straight man alive or any I have known who would not be up for at minimum some level of intimacy with this level of enthusiasm from their partner. That's the kind of stuff men tend to dream about.
I have had friends wish and / or revel in the exact situation you describe and consider it ideal. I am not saying it's perfect for everyone, but you sound enthusiastic and involved, and most men love that.
So I wouldn't say something is up and as others have mentioned you may need to reconsider things.
You are still young, and you have options. I know it suvks to hear, but sometimes relationships ships fail. Don't let yourself lose your chance at getting what you want and being happy because of the sunk cost fallacy.
First of all, congratulations to not letting lifestyle creep eat up your savings.
The way she feels entitled to your money is a bad red flag. Sounds like she would burn through the money within 3 years and be left with a lifestyle neither of you can support.
If you want to save the relationship anyway, make a budget like us poor people do. Designate a certain amount of money to savings for your long-term plan. But also, set a monthly budget for treating the two of you to nice things like going out for dinner or fun activities. Additionally, set a yearly budget for vacations. If you two want to go on a big vacation above the budget next year, I guess you'll have to cut back on vacations this year.
I still have to deal with the occasional interrogation once or twice a week
Ummm, that’s not occasional and it’s so far from healthy or appropriate that I don’t know what to tell you.
She absolutely needs to work on her previous relationship trauma because she’s regularly emotionally abusive. Even if you had been cheating her response of throwing a lamp was out of order.
It also wasn’t smart of you to make a unilateral decision about childcare changes but that’s a separate issue.
You are just as bad a person as he is!! Both of you are despicable nasty, disgusting people! I hope you BOTH ruin each other!!
Oof, okay there are two major things to unpack here.
One, the “prank.” Drawing up divorce papers is not a prank and I don't know who on earth would actually find that funny. Was this a prank orchestrated by your sister or your husband or both together? If it was just your sister, she needs a SERIOUS talk about how unacceptable this was. Yes she's a teenager but she's growing into adulthood and needs to understand the consequences of her actions. If it was your husband…I don't know if this would be enough for me to leave right away, but I would certainly take some time on my own to think. If he did this to you, it was deeply cruel.
Second, your reaction. The fact that divorce papers had you asking for a gun immediately and seriously is incredibly concerning. Do you have a therapist? What's your mental health history? I'm really worried for you if you have no reason to live outside of your husband. I think that it is vital for you to reach out to a therapist and get some support.
Don't worry about what your family thought of your reaction right now. That is the lowest matter of importance on the list of urgent things to address.
Sorry to hear this can’t really say how to fix this I’d suggest spending some time with her without her sister and having a serious talk about how your not interested
My ex bizarrely did this sort of thing to herself. She and her sis had too much to drink and she thought it would be funny to embarrass me by getting her sis to flirt with me (I shot it down politely but pointed out it was a bad idea to GF) … A days later she’s practically in tears convinced me and her sis are going to get together.
I would be postponing the wedding!! Even canceling it at this point!!
Hah, think yourself lucky it's due to her pregnancy, I am that sensitive to smells all the time, and have been known to vomit from just walking into a bathroom.
If you aren't smoking now, why not take the opportunity to make it permanent, your lungs will thank you for it!
Honestly, something is fundamentally wrong.
I don't know a straight man alive or any I have known who would not be up for at minimum some level of intimacy with this level of enthusiasm from their partner. That's the kind of stuff men tend to dream about.
I have had friends wish and / or revel in the exact situation you describe and consider it ideal. I am not saying it's perfect for everyone, but you sound enthusiastic and involved, and most men love that.
So I wouldn't say something is up and as others have mentioned you may need to reconsider things.
You are still young, and you have options. I know it suvks to hear, but sometimes relationships ships fail. Don't let yourself lose your chance at getting what you want and being happy because of the sunk cost fallacy.
First of all, congratulations to not letting lifestyle creep eat up your savings.
The way she feels entitled to your money is a bad red flag. Sounds like she would burn through the money within 3 years and be left with a lifestyle neither of you can support.
If you want to save the relationship anyway, make a budget like us poor people do. Designate a certain amount of money to savings for your long-term plan. But also, set a monthly budget for treating the two of you to nice things like going out for dinner or fun activities. Additionally, set a yearly budget for vacations. If you two want to go on a big vacation above the budget next year, I guess you'll have to cut back on vacations this year.
I still have to deal with the occasional interrogation once or twice a week
Ummm, that’s not occasional and it’s so far from healthy or appropriate that I don’t know what to tell you.
She absolutely needs to work on her previous relationship trauma because she’s regularly emotionally abusive. Even if you had been cheating her response of throwing a lamp was out of order.
It also wasn’t smart of you to make a unilateral decision about childcare changes but that’s a separate issue.
He’s not struggling. You are. Your relationship isn’t as great as you think it is.