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Damn why’d they bombard you with so many downvotes
Lol wtf ???
I don’t think you’re making a big deal out of nothing, because this is important – but that doesn’t mean your boyfriend has done anything wrong.
Most people are uncomfortable around the grief of others. Especially younger people like your boyfriend who probably haven’t known a whole lot of loss and don’t have experience of their own to guide them. He probably just had no idea what to do. Add in to the fact that (and I don’t mean this as a criticism) you’ve been sending some VERY mixed signals about how you want other people, including him, to handle your grief.
When we approach our grief in an indirect or even a dismissive way by doing things like making jokes or trying to hide how seriously our loss is affecting us, it often sends the message to others that we don’t want them to directly address our grief. We’ve been sending signals that say it makes us uncomfortable, we don’t want to really talk about it and we don’t want to show the depth of our emotion – so it stands to reason that you wouldn’t want someone who cares about you to bring up those painful feelings, even accidentally by checking in on how you’re doing. If you haven’t been together that long and he already wasn’t quite sure how to support you during this time, I’m not at all surprised that he kind of dodged any direct recognition of the significance of the day – he had no idea how you would respond, and in fact good reason to believe it wasn’t what you wanted.
What I’ve learned from my own grief is that if you need support around a particular time or event or just in general, you’ll probably have to ask for it. Not because people don’t care, but because they often just don’t know what to do, and they don’t want to risk doing the “wrong” thing and making your pain worse. I do understand why you’re upset and your feelings are entirely valid – but the sense of hurt you feel at not being supported does not mean your boyfriend is an unsupportive person. You can be hurt not to receive the support you needed, but also recognise that you didn’t actually communicate what you needed from him (and in some ways gave the opposite impression). Speaking up about how badly we’re hurting can be terrifying, but it’s also the only way you can make sure the people who care for you will show up for you how and when you need them to.
I’m sorry for the loss of your dad. I hope you’ve been getting a lot of love from other people around you.
You need to reevaluate this relationship.
It can be difficult to deal with unrequited feelings, especially when you are forced to be in constant contact with the person you have feelings for. Here are some coping strategies that may help you:
Focus on the project: As you mentioned, you are working on a many-year-long project together that requires constant communication and contact. Try to focus on the project and put your energy into it. Use the project as a distraction from your feelings.
Limit contact: If you find that being in constant contact with your friend is making it difficult to manage your feelings, consider limiting your contact with her outside of the project. This doesn't mean you have to cut her out of your life completely, but try to minimize any unnecessary communication.
Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness meditation can help you become more aware of your thoughts and emotions without getting caught up in them. By learning to observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment, you can better manage them.
Seek support from others: Talk to a trusted friend or therapist about your feelings. It can be helpful to get an outside perspective and to have someone to vent to.
Focus on yourself: Take care of yourself by eating well, exercising, and doing things you enjoy. Focus on your own goals and interests, rather than putting all of your energy into your feelings for your friend.
Consider professional help: If your feelings are interfering with your daily life and you are struggling to cope, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide you with additional coping strategies and support.
Remember, it's important to respect your friend's relationship and not act on your feelings while she is with her current boyfriend. It's okay to have feelings, but it's important to manage them in a healthy way.