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Sydaffect, 27 y.o.
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Who else knows? Might someone have told her?
She's cheating and will cheat no matter what! You do have a choice and that's to divorce her and get custody of your kids and then she can go w*ore around all the time. Tell her to pack up and go and you are filing for divorce.
You wouldn't end things because of this one incident though. It would be because he constantly does this to you – this is just the cherry on top of the shit cake that he expects you to eat. How many times does he have to do this to you before you're ready to pull the plug?
Staying with him is going to be horrendous to your mental health. Prioritize yourself and your well-being. You can find someone else who will treat you with kindness and honesty.
It's time to go NC with all of them who enable her behaviour towards your wife
It's not owing her.
He's feeling upset by what she said. She's feeling upset by how he didn't react. People are not perfect. We are human, not machines. We have complex feelings and emotions… we feel how we feel, not matter how rational/irrational
Instead of taking the “well I'm right” approach, I'm suggesting to perhaps see it from another perspective and open dialog….. if he expresses he was hurt by what she said, he acknowledges maybe his unintentional actions caused her to feel insecure, maybe they get on the same page and make up and have sex…..
He's deleting messages before he shows you his phone