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Look man, she's crazy. I mean when I didn't want to go home and kinda had to, or didn't want my bf to go home I'd cuddle him, but if he asked to go I would let him go. Usually we'd start our “time to leave” 5 minutes early. But in no way did I hurt hime, make it near impossible to leave by hiding his stuff or forcing him to break laws. I did not try to seduce him and certainly not cry to manipulate. She's stomped past every boundary reasonable people have. I read she's “scared” of therapy, but you kinda need to tell her it's either that, she stops (tough you mentioned other issues so still therapy probs) or you break up. Or at least take a break from seeing each other as this is not feasible.
She isn't forced to have sex with you. She decided to do so willingly and from your story I doubt she regretted it. She is a lesbian but that doesn't mean she disliked to have sex with you. It's just that she likes to have sex with women more.
Just go talk to her and make her easy your, very understandable, insecurities about this. To me its sounds you to have a wonderful relationship and mabey you can work something out (like an open relationship) or mabey you two could make the end of your relationship a little easier for both of you.
Focus on yourself king it’s over now?
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You dodged a bullet but leaving, absolutely. And honestly I think the extreme mourning might not be because you were so into her but that the relationship was helping you get through the hardest part of your divorce. So now you’re mourning both even if you thought you were done mourning the marriage, does that make sense?
WOW. She went scortched
I do understand how you feel. Even if something isn’t inherently sexual, it can still feel intimate or familiar in a way that shouldn’t be shared with someone that isn’t your partner. It is totally okay you to feel weird about it.
If he hadn’t lied I’d be saying chalk it up to innocently not realising it would be a boundary, make sure you’re both clear on it and move on, but the lie does make me think he knew it wouldn’t be viewed favourably.
How much weight are we talking?