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I don't think 'stress' is necessarily code for anything but stress in our situation. We do not online together, we live an hour away and I drive to her constantly. She is evidently very stressed and depressed from her loss. Her new family dynamic and exactly how much responsibility it requires of her has been talking a toll on her. I hate that my frustration and resent has come up at such a difficult time for her, but I have been trying to address this problem between us for so long with no real progress. We've talked about it at nauseam and see constantly sees it from a viewpoint of disgust. She says I am only here for sex! She tells me how “psychotic” it is that I want sex at a time like this. I have tried and tried to explain that this isn't about sex as much as it is about being physically and intimately connected. She is set in her ways and does not see my perspective.
I want to help her through her loss. I also feel grief for the loss of her father. I go out of my way to help her and her family with anything and everything. It is hurtful when she says “all you want is sex” because it discounts everything I do for her on a daily basis. Regardless of what the latest challenge is in the relationship, we all have needs that need to be met for the relationship to function properly. She does not feel supported, considered, nor heard. I want to help and I am a good man, I treat her right, but lately my resentment for this intimacy issue has gotten the best of me.
I do not want to leave her, especially while she is enduring such pain and stress in the aftermath of her loss, I am just not sure what to do. It has been so long since I first brought this to her attention.
Dude has serious porn addiction and he’s gonna have to work through it himself (which he obviously is!) but you should stop standing in his way. Move on to someone with a little more time (and less dick) on their hands
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Get a therapist who specializes in NB…do a couple therapy…maybe he needs to educate himself on what it means first. If he's trying to communicate and open up then that's great. It will take baby steps but I'm sure he will get there.
If I were her, I’d have broken up with you already. Why are you wasting her time like this? Grow up man.
We only see each other once a week. It hasn’t impacted us making plans yet. I think a key difference is I would never have that close of a friendship with an ex gf while I’m trying to date someone else. I would never bring my ex up in frequent conversations. I also wouldn’t go to her house, walk her dog, go on out of town trips and be her emotional support person when I’m trying to date someone new. I’ve learned the very hot way the need for boundaries and jealousy. I’ve also had my best guy friend date one of my ex gf while we were roommates. I guess I’m overly sensitive to this dynamic and feel I’m in a new permutation of it. On a side note, I don’t let myself date coworkers. She has dated two. I would like to think I would be overly cautious about “falling in love” with someone else while married because of boundaries I set. I don’t think it’s fair for me to judge or say this but I will anyway, it seems the boundaries issue was a factor in her marriage failing.
Well I cut all of the religious friends out of my life a few years back cause I'm hella gay and they're hella toxic, but I knew them after they were married for about 6-8 years and they were all still very happy, having babies and living their god-filled lives.
One of them though, he didn't think the clit was necessary and thought women should be circumcised because “we didn't need it”, and he married his gf after dating for 6m. They have one kid, but i often wonder how satisfied she is ?
This is a troll post guys
Um I would leave him
Just tell your family it is her or you, and stick to it no matter what they choose.
Yeah…your husband is not a person you can rely on to be sane, or look out for your well-being.
He literally just destroyed his life because being an arrogant scary asshole was more important and “funny.”
Please make smart decisions here, OP. Good luck
And what about the men? Why do men cheat? Are they also in that position? No, mostly they are not.
Well communication (like you said) is what laid a solid foundation to him understanding this communication you have with your ex. She lacks communication. She knows it and always admits it. I have never been the overly jealous type. I don’t ever ask for her phone. This is just one of those situations where I had this gut feeling, the moment presented itself, and it just happened.
She knows I’m not the jealous type. All I ask for is respect and loyalty.
But did you really win if you’re constantly stalking her.
Thank you.
but maybe as a friend keeping it casual is better for you so you can potentially find new people in your life.
I agree. I'm trying to do this but it's particularly very hot because he's the only person I've been that close with in my life right now.
I'm really sad because of all this tbh. He was a great and still is a great guy, but he's changed…
Abused, likely. Groomed? Unless she has a Time Machine I don’t think she groomed her ex who was two years older than her.
Same, OP must be going crazy.
You don’t have to talk to her about this.
Yea he's definitely projecting his own shadyness onto you. Two years and you guys hang out once a week? And you're not allowed in his room alone? Are you positive he doesn't have another girlfriend?