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WilliamShawn&Jen, y.o.
Location: Missouri, United States
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I have PMS which makes me very irritable; I can’t tolerate things I usually do. I tell my BF, then I try to minimize contact, meaning I hang out in another room, don’t ask him to do stuff together, don’t go on dates (I’m too bloated and in pain to want to do that anyway). I also try to talk rationally to myself in my head; if something is annoying me—like, are you really annoyed, wait to talk about it tomorrow (then the next day). Venting to friends or in a journal helps too (and rotate friends so not 1 is begetting trauma dumped on).
Doesn’t work all the time, but it works most of the time. We all have mood swings and stressors. She may not be able to stop, cause hormones, but she may be able to reign it in.
Sorry I'm a little confused, could be because it's late and this is making me more than mild emotional. So it's my fault it would happen but there's nothing I could do to stop it happening anyway?
So let’s look at the timeline and some issues I see from the outside looking in w no connection. And the red flags each brings. 1. They had a “thing” 3 years ago ?slept together multiple times in a romantic setting. Not just FWB 2. Reconnected 2 years ago ?she’s his this from you for a reason 3. Texting & catching up every 2 weeks for 2 years ?why hasn’t she told you? 4. Job hunting in the same field which might/ could land them in the same job together ?if they could. Possibly work at the same place they’d be together all day 5. Never told you about him even though she’s been “catching up” w him every 2 weeks for 2 years ?this is very important because she lied about this relationship by omission 6. Innocent messages until she told him she “had a dream” about him. ?this opens up dialogue to get him to ask “what did you dream”. Depending on the dream and how detailed she tells him could spark old flames
I’m always concerned when people in relationships reconnect w their exes. Some are truly plutonic because one shafted the other and hurt them and are on speaking terms if they see them out and about. Some meet for lunch or drinks “catching up” w o their SO knowing. But for her to talk to him every other week for 2 years and never told you about him means she is hiding him for a reason. If it’s truly plutonic why not tell you?
I would be upset that she could hide him all this time. I’d want to know if they’ve met up in those 2 years for lunch, dinner, drinks etc. This would be very telling on their relationship if she were honest w you. If she can keep him hidden for 2 years what else has she hidden from you? Or this means she can get away w anything behind your back easily. It may very well all be innocent but the fact she’s hidden this speaks volumes and I’d be very uncomfortable w this. These are all just my opinion and thoughts. Just food for thought or my 2 cents
Why are you with him again?