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You are not responsible for her actions. She is abusing you and that is not okay. The abuse will only get worse, not better. You must protect yourself. And it would be far too easy for her to get really mad and accuse you of SA if she doesn’t get her way. And that’s a charger that’s nearly impossible for a man to recover from.
She will make you feel guilty because she’s manipulating you through your feelings. You’re a good guy and you want the best for her. You don’t want to hurt her or see her hurt. But at what cost to you?
Why must you be hurt so she can be happy? You shouldn’t ever be alone with her else this will escalate. And you might not want to hear it but you need to leave this abusive relationship.
Yes, she might threaten self-harm but that’s not on you. That’s a classic control tactic to keep you close and to keep you doing what she wants. And they way you answer the threat is to tell her if she threatens to self-harm again you will call for an ambulance and tell them that she is threatening self-harm/suicide. Her attitude will change quickly.
She doesn’t have any intention of doing that, she just wants to control your actions. She wants you to be under her complete control which is why she will always cry and apologize to you when you talk to her. But someone who really cares doesn’t need to be told more than once that a behavior is not acceptable.
And those tears are all fake.
My young friend, you are putting yourself on fire just to keep her warm. Don’t do that to yourself. And then get some therapy yourself to help you understand everything better so you don’t fall victim to this kind of abuser again.
Are you on here just to be a jerk? I'm trying to figure out what to do about it.
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Maybe not. Maybe he had a “big boys don't cry” father. That does NOT negate that he's now an asshole as a result and OP does not need to be with him.
NO
But the thing is I like dominant women. I'm generally not into them being submissive.
It's just a very specific thing where I'm attracted to her sister being submissive specifically because she would look/feel exactly like my girlfriend while having a totally different personality/mannerisms
People are probably confused cause we all masturbate to something specific, ie a scenario where a person has something that makes them attractive to us, or even a person we know, right? What does someone with no sexual attraction have a sex drive for if nothing and no one turns them on?
Yea he was a good man.. sucks they weren't compatible.
Controlling? My terms? How have you deciphered this perspective? I've worked continuously since leaving high school, multiple jobs, and up to 100 hours a week at times. I don't need a faceless redditer to undermine my work ethic, but thank you?
I wanna know what gives anybody the right to feel “blindsided” by someone's sexuality if they're not romantically involved with them?
Why would anybody have a certain set of expectations for their daughter/sister's sex life?
She could be perimenopausal?
I am so sorry for everything. However, your fiancĂ©e has shown her true colors. She has decided to side with this other man time and time again. It hasn't been an emotional affair either. She is saying that to save face so you won't leave her because it was “emotional.” She wants you and him. You deserve someone that will always choose you, that will be loyal to you, and that will love you despite the time you spend apart. She does not love you and has been cheating on you. You need to get your ring back and move on. Best of luck