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I wouldn’t want a picture of my husband’s ex-wife on the fridge. I wouldn’t have removed it myself – I would have had a conversation with my husband. But I wouldn’t want to see his ex wife’s face every time I went in the kitchen.
Their son absolutely deserves to have pictures of his parents together and pictures of them together with him, but maybe those are best in his own personal space.
I think this is multi-faceted and layered in a way that there isn’t a clear right or wrong. He deserves to have a friendship with the mother of his son. His SO deserves to not feel like a third wheel. Blended families are challenging. They just are. I’m sure some of it stems from her own insecurities, but I’m also willing to bet that some of it stems from the way he treats her. I’m sure she never feels important or completely welcome and it seems like it’s probably not a “him” or “her” problem, but that they’re both probably somewhat at fault.