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I know it sucks now, but I honestly think you'll be fine once you get some distance from this. Feel better soon
We let it be. Best way to really understand something that can’t be fixed is knowing y’all two different people with two different brains. Sometimes the things that don’t get fixed might iron themselves out over time but if it ain’t too extreme we both just dropped it.
Never force it either, respect “sorry no” kind of things but stuff y’all willing to work just be reassuring and consistent.
Maybe he was actually busy or maybe he didn't want to go somewhere with a bigger group of people he doesn't know (I'm just assuming these are YOUR friends as u didn't really specify). Also the guy in a committed relationship could have just been an a-hole so I wouldn't run to say there's something wrong with you. I think all the other comments are pretty good advice and you should try to get out there more. Dating can be pretty scary and reading the signals may sometimes be tricky but I wish you good luck!
If the genders were reversed, people would call him needy and obsessive.
He’s ramping up. You’re going to be 4 hours away from h your support system.
Accept the divorce and get family to help you get out.
What the hell? Just tell him you don’t like it. You don’t have to say dealbreaker at any point, but you do need to have an actual conversation. He’s not a mind reader.
Yes, he is continuing to dig at it. And in my 45 years of life, if you dig at something long enough, it will fester and become an issue.
It's not like he hasn't had a conversation. He's asked her what happened and he doesn't accept that explanation.
I don't know what he expects others to do for him. We weren't there and can't tell him if she's telling the truth. If that's correct, then he needs to end it and move on.
I do know that if he tries to continue the relationship, while this festers, he may start to become reactive to any man around her and direct his frustrations at her since he fundamentally isn't sure of her in this situation.
His continued questions are an answer to a question he's implying: should I stay? If you can't trust someone than it doesn't matter if they tell you the truth, you won't believe that. It's just best to move on. He seems highly reactive, though, so may want to do some work/therapy around this stuff, so he can choose how much energy to spend on following a thread of thinking. After a bit, it becomes toxic. Either you accept the explanation or you don't. Choose. Don't hyperfocus on it.
These type of issues are not issues that reddit can solve.
She spent 2 hours trying to get an infant to sleep and you're posting her complaints on Reddit. Lol.
You're 22, you're an adult, that isn't being groomed….., unless you are a vulnerable adult with special needs
Yeah, that's what I've been thinking of. I mean, I get where the advice is coming from. I'm just a bit worried the healing will take longer. Also, the house is not that important to me as it is what is going to happen to our pets. I would love to take them with me, but I don't want to be a horrible person and take them away from my ex. It's such a complicated situation and I agree decisions should be made when things have cooled off.
Um he doesn’t know where you on-line? Then send him a text- “we’re done. I no longer wish to continue this relationship and since you won’t accept it when I say it in person, here it is in writing. Don’t contact me, I am moving on with my life.” Then Ghost him. Block his number, social media, etc. tell your employers that you have had a messy break up and please don’t give your contact information out.
Let you parents know that you were seeing a guy who you realised wasn’t age appropriate and you have ended it(better they hear it from you that from him if he decides to go nuclear).
I'm over here thinking the same, like I can think of a few more cancerous things I've done today than OPs issue:
Morning list: -excess sugar -consumed common place sweeteners linked to health problems -high caffiene -smoked one marijuana -under slept -had sex without checking partners hpv status wait, what.
okay?
I think if OP has this high of standards that they either need to do some research and relax a little, or do the first date at the drs office for a health check up; best to know if she has high cholesterol while you're at it.
Disclosure and consent are very important but this toes the line of complete overkill and I feel overlaps into lack of education on the topic. Rare cancers exist, yes. OPs ex was definitely not playing biological warfare and hiding cancer in her vagina, lol
Then you know nothing about childbirth
Does anyone really believe that? I had one thing and now I have nothing. In what world do I have a better chance at succeeding now. Ill finally drown so that she can fly away