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Geezus! Yet another “high value man” on Reddit…Ewwww. It’s insane to me how many men let their lives be dictated by some idiot podcaster/“influencer”.
Every time I hear that phrase, it immediately congers up woosie, insecure, self-absorbed waste of human space.
Please, with all due speed, dump this fool, spend time valuing all that you are and then, shiny spine well polished, find a worthy partner.
Why can't you visit her at her house for short periods? Like go by for an hour to have tea and bring something?
I completely understand u not wanting to believe the person u luv is actually serious about this stuff, but she's definitely using u for the free housing and food until she goes to college. I'm srry this is happening to u OP but she needs to go ASAP.
It’s not about the money? I don’t feel entitled to anything but it’s odd behavior for you SO to be so involved with going over the top for another woman.
It sounds like he MIGHT have anxiety. I know I do this to my boyfriend, I don't know why something stresses me out but it does, and it's normally in his best interest.
I am aware of my anxiety though so if it's something that is giving me a crazy amount of anxiety over something little, I will tell him “this is going to bother me all day, if it's something you can go along with for the sake of me I appreciate it, but if doing so will bother YOU all day, then do what you need to.”
It's not a need to control my boyfriend, for me, it's a need to try to control being prepared, and making sure he is prepared too. When we are not and it's something that was preventable I have EXTREME guilt and I beat myself up about it. So in your example, if I knew you needed leggings and we were dating, if you didn't get them and it came up weeks or months later, I would be EXTREMELY upset that we didn't get them when I suggested. Partly at you, partly at myself, partly just upset on general. Just absolutely beating myself up over it.
It's still an issue but we're both working on it. He doesn't want me to be anxious just as I don't want to feel anxious myself.
OF COURSE this is a red flag. And OF COURSE he’s a porn addict. If you stay with him then yes you will have ended up with a porn addict. He’s not trying to change. He’s denying he has a problem. He’s going to get fired, too.
She is pregnant, this mean lot of hormones. Don't expect rational behaviour. She is obviously afraid you drop her, not an unreasonable idea if you have read that very subreddit.
I advice you to maintain contact, because she expects you won't. You don't have to make excuse for something you did not do. But you can do it for whatever attitude you had that make her sad.
Be steady because she is not. You don't have something romantic for that friend, never did and never will. You have no way to make her believe what she doesn't want to believe. But if she wants to have an husband and a father for the child, she'd better start to trust you. If she miss something from you, she'd better start to tell you : there is a limit to your telepathy.
Stay calm and factual. Ask precise questions. Don't deny : ask where, when, how much, how, who. No sarcasm. You want to be on her side.
Good luck.
Hey OP, I'll point out this slightly overlooked tidbit: What you did at your father's wedding was asinine, but not surprising for a 15 year old going through a parents remarriage. Your dad and his wife had a right to be passed off, but you were a kid, who is not legally recognized as an adult because you don't fully understand how to act at that age. Your step mother has no such excuse as a 50+ adult attending an adult child's wedding. She knows better, she has had years to come to terms and forgive what you did all that time ago. She instead decided to be petty and vindictive. She tried to ruin your day out of spite, and I'm glad you didn't let her.
She has no excuses as an an individual old enough to be your parent. She is held to higher standard than a child, and if your father wants to make this his hill to die on, he shows you that your relationship with him doesn't hold any real weight in his life. Sorry OP, but dump both of them and live! a happier life. You deserve it.
Our flat contract ends in June! Have definitely learnt the hard way that the whole 'don't shit where you eat' saying is incredibly true haha