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You need to go to the hospital asap and get a rape kit done. You might not want to pursue legal action at this very moment but if you ever do, you’ll need to have proof and DNA that matches. I am so sorry this happened to you.
I want to tell i short story but that is the shortest i think of
I would search his phone to get some more proof for cheating. Wh
The way she said it is rude. But she can absolutely have this as a dealbreaker. And there kind of is no good way to say it. I suppose she could keep it to herself and just end things after the 3rd failed attempt. But I think she is trying to give him a chance to figure this out. Although again, stated poorly if that is how she said it.
Unbelievable…. Sounds like he loves you more than anything in the world and is willing to forgive you for being a shitty person? God how dare he!. You both vowed to be together through thick and thin you VOWED to be with him only and yet you sit here and point out his lack of efforts? I bet if you asked him or he had an opportunity to speak out about the list of reasons why he stopped trying for you could be long. Don’t act like you’ve done nothing wrong don’t act like it’s all his fault here. The comment before me is right everyone looks over the fence to see if the grass is greener instead of taking care of your own lawn. Since you obviously don’t care enough about the man why did you stay? Why are you prolonging this? Are you waiting for a reason that doesn’t make you seem like a terrible person?
this is very aggressive projection from you, how do you know thats what happened?
This is a red flag….but just a flag. Keep an eye on it, do some sleuthing….but as others have pointed out “teen porn” is such a huge and not actually teen oriented genre that this may just be society grossness, not his individual grossness. Plus like…I like gay porn but would never think to creep on any of my gay friends. Porn’s purpose is to create a hyper sexual fantasy and many people don’t want that fantasy IRL in any way.
I think as a mom it’s VERY good to let this put you on high alert….but if it ends up being a solo red flag I don’t think it’s a worry, esp as he stopped.
OP, first, I think you should end the relationship with the man you have clearly fallen out of love with. You sound like you are trying to talk yourself in to staying with him. You need to let him be with someone who loves him fully. You sound like you have lots of issues going on and need to work on yourself before being critical of someone else. Then you can go off and help the orphans in Tijuana all you want. Maybe you can also help the orphans close to where you are now too. Good luck.
I don't think she will leave you. Just keep on reinforcing positive things and being a stable and loving figure in her life . Show her you won't abandon her, even if the sabotaguing parts within herself try to push. She is used to be tough all the time but you can help show her that she doesn't need to be alone when she is with you.
Focus on fun times too, its important to alleviate the pressure. Go out on some casual dates together (theme park, zoo, etc), you need to enjoy the good times too when you're going through the tough ones.
Journal about how it makes you feel. Why does it make you jealous? What thoughts does it bring up? Do you compare yourself to him and worry that he was better?
Then take whatever fears you have and ask yourself what you need from yourself to feel better. Tell yourself affirmations everyday to increase your self esteem. “My GF doesn't compare me to anyone else because I'm the best she's ever had” “My GF clearly loves me and so I never have to worry” “I'm so secure in myself I'm not worried about the past” etc. Whatever your specific thoughts are, flip them and make affirmations.
Then when you find yourself worrying and obsessing again, maybe journal about it for a bit, but as the weeks go on just observe the thought and let it keep floating by, don't chase the thought don't a rabbit hole. Acknowledge the feelings but then tell yourself your affirmations to feel better.
At first the affirmations might feel fake, but the subconscious mind is programmed through repetition. The more you say them, the more you'll believe them.