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Yes. It sounds like a huge toxic mess and I bounce out. I'm curious if his fiancee knows his true feelings for the ex and that's her biggest reasoning for not liking her. Besides the obvious offering her tit bullshit.
I wouldnt have bothered saying anything but I guess you needed that for closure.
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First of all the word toxic is overused like hell and what you describe is not toxic at all. It is called having boundaries. If you want a partner that does not hang out with any females alone it is not toxic, it is just what you want and it is totally fine to look for a partner that is fine with that. However these boundaries should be communicated early in the relationship so both partners know what the other expects and if you do not like your partners boundaries you just stop dating.
So if you agreed that he can't be alone with females and he did it anyways he clearly, openly and willingly crossed that boundary. He could have told you from the start that he will not comply by these and you could have called it quits from the start. If someone crosses your boundaries you walk away from the relationship. You do not use them to control or change people but as ground rules and the only thing you can do when they are crossed is to walk away from the relationship or at least make it clear that this is serious to you and that the next time you will walk.
Him invting that girl, that you already had a problem with is a big deal. Especially if you have communicated your boundaries clearly. This would have been the point in time where you should have actually broken up. Without a big fuss or argument. Just “I told you about my boundaries, you agreed, you did it anyways. We are over. Have a good life.”
Instead of ending it there you even tried to meet her? Why?
Ok now the vacation thing is really fucked up. While most people are fine with their partners having friends of the other sex, going on vacation together is a dealbreaker for many people. Not only because of jalousy but because most people want their partner to go on vacation with them. I don't think getting mad and demanding him to do something (tell her that there will be no more contact) is a good way to ever react. The best way would have been to walk away from that relationship a step ahead but at that point it would have really been time to go. You can still get back together if the partner then apologizes and decides to respect the boundaries henceforce.
So in the end he is probably a person that wants friends of the opposite gender and that is fine. You are a person that does not want her partner to have friends of the opposite gender and that is okay too. Now the right thing to do is, that you break up and get partners that share your values instead of torturing yourself any longer in this relationship where none of you is actually happy.
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It sounds like he's just overwhelmed with how much is on his plate and is struggling to prioritize. Maybe a conversation about expectations about how much the two of you want to see each other each week and figuring out how to plan that quality time would be beneficial.
I don't think the amount you want to see him is unreasonable, but you two need to figure out a better system for the timing. Giving you a specific time doesn't seem to work, so maybe him letting you know when he's nearly done would be more helpful. Blaming you for not meeting his goals also doesn't seem fair, he's an adult and is the sole person in charge of managing his time. If he's having trouble doing so that may be something he needs to figure out himself.
I will say, you can absolutely love someone and not want to be around them 24/7. I can't get some things done when other people are around because I'd rather talk to that person than do the work. Even outside of chores I still want some time alone to decompress, and basically any introvert will tell you the same thing. If you're not feeling wanted you should absolutely ask for some reassurance, but it doesn't sound like his need for time to study is remotely a reflection on his feelings toward you.