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I am so sorry, and no you are not crazy. That is just wrong and gross. I would have packed my bags and left right after the comment was made.
um im 23 and if you asked me to run down the events of a night after i went out i couldnt tell you exactly what happened. i couldnt even tell you exactly the events of my birthday which was 6 months ago and i was sober.
He raped you. Your body knows her raped you and that's why it doesn't want to have sex with him anymore. Your brain needs to listen to it and break up.
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No. Do not rush a proposal before moving in together, especially if you can’t afford to start planning the wedding after. Move in together first and make sure you can handle living with each other. Start saving money. When you have enough money for the ring + a comfortable emergency savings fund, that’s when you plan a proposal. Plus even tho you’ve been together thru college, you’re both still so young. You’re each going to change, more than you think you will, over the next 5 years.
it really depends on what amount of money we are talking about.
I know several people who just got mom + dad's money their whole lives, then even more when they passed away (BDE) in inheritance.
personally I think not having a job/livelihood/productive pursuit is not good for a person's character. but if the money is there then ultimately the guy can do what he wants and what we think, or his girlfriend thinks, is immaterial in a “realistic” sense with regard to the singing.
look at millionaires who hold concerts for their own mediocre performance (e.g. art, music, singing, whatever). same kind of deal.
that being said if it's not that very specific case I'm 100% on board with your perspective.
I can see that and if this is his reasoning, of course I’d support it. We’ve both been very independent since we met, I think it just caught me by surprise since he never thought of us as unequal (not sure if that’s the right word).
She was always saying that she is dreaming of us holding hands and living together (I have never incited her to say those things, she was saying that because I think she really meant it), she said multiple times that she got jealous when I'm talking to other girls, she always texted me first… so many times I have told her that I love her but if she wants to be with the other guy she can do it, I won't obligate her to be with me, as a response, she always said that the only thing that is keeping her for being in a relationship with me is because of we are still young, so we decided to not be in a relationship with anyone. The thing is that 3 weeks later after saying that, she is now with the other one, I won't do anything about that, she can do whatever she wants I don't give a f*ck, what upsets me is the fact that she was lying to me and making me feel too special for her, but when the other showed up, she suddenly started ignoring me and isn't responsive anymore, and the thing that bothers me is that she doesn't assume they are together, as always, she says she's not interested in him and they are just simple friends.
I think that the fact that this seems to be a change in behavior from his norm is a very big deal, and shows already poor effort in a new light. Are you SURE he was texting work?
You already tried to talk about it once, and it sounds like he stonewalled you. There's not a lot you can do if he refuses to acknowledge the behavior or talk about solutions. It may not be time to run for the hills quite yet, but it is a good time for you to start making your plans assuming he is going to do nothing for you. Start by ordering yourself a real present on-line, and then using social media to schedule a do-over birthday party. Find a sitter, so you don't even have to talk to your husband about it. Invite everyone who wants to come except him- he already had a chance to celebrate your 30th birthday and he did it by making you feel unloved and unappreciated. Tell him you only want people around you that night who make you feel like they value you, and that's not him.
For Mother's day, take you kid to your mom's house without him, treat yourself to brunch with friends, buy yourself the kind of Mother's Day gift you would have expected if your husband gave half a shit. See if you can find a sitter so you don't have to discuss it. Then just go and celebrate yourself. Start walking through life as though you don't need him, and where you don't accept less from other people. It's possible he might get his shit together, but it's more likely he'll take the chance to get more time in with whoever he was texting when it said it was for work. Either way, you have a definitive answer.
Uhmmm yeah. It sounds like he doesn't deserve you.
Your boundary is different than mine, but mine is no less valid. I made it clear to my husband that I considered this behavior hurtful, he said he understood and would stop, and then he didn’t. I am upset about him disregarding the boundary I have and have every right to have.
What you consider ok behavior in your relationship is your business and not something I’d judge. But I am hurt by my husband for doing something I told him would hurt me, and I feel disrespected and angry about that.
She is uncomfortable with it, if you care for her you will stop doing it.
She's unfortunately given you no reason to trust her.
Maybe he understands her perspective also. He’s not obligated to think you’re entitled to outrage: he’s permitted to make his own judgments about what really happened.
Since he’s known you a long time, he might even understand what happened better than you do.
Everyone grows and changes throughout their life, but the person above made a specifically gendered comment about men not maturing until their 30s or 40s and also claims to be a man himself. Why do we see men saying these things about themselves? To excuse shitty behavior.