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Sounds like there's some trauma there. Maybe you should seek get some counseling. Just because you have a traumatic experience in your past doesn't mean you should avoid a basic and essential life skill forever.
In that case, she sounds funny and sweet.
You seem to attract cheaters
Nope. Sorry. I look good, the way I want, for ME.
I don't have eyebrows or eyelashes. Some days, I feel sexy af with nothing on my face. Because it's FOR ME. If they don't like looking at my natural face, I don't want em to!
My girlfriend quit smoking and it took quite a long time for the smell to go away. Especially on her clothes. Whether you realize it or not the nicotine/tar/smoke/other shit soaks into every little things and can be particularly naked to remove. Smokers imo have no idea how disgusting that shit is. You probably haven’t regained your sense of smell or taste enough to even notice
At this point, what to try really depends on what you're comfortable with and what sounds appealing to you. It sounds as if you're interested in making it work, which is awesome.
There are some really cool strap-on units that do the obvious part of adding a phallus for your enjoyment, but ALSO have forms/phalluses on the inside of the harness so that he can enjoy it as well.
If you really like him the way he is minus his genitals, I think the toy route is the way to go. Nothing quite like hand selecting your own idea of the perfect penis and letting him rock your world.
He’s dumb.
Drug dealing isn’t profitable unless he’s selling things that you probably aren’t comfortable with, or if he’s seeking new clients constantly IE escalating risk.
It’s not that great a business. If he’s selling only to his friends, chances are he’ll be making 30-50K and that’s being generous. He doesn’t strike me as someone likely to set up a sweet middleman setup – and then I’m not even discussing the risk of being robbed, which the second you’re making enough to be worth robbing is absolutely something you need to contemplate.
I think your dad is a bit odd and possibly not quite right in regards to how he views you and I think your mum knows that.
Which begs the following question; why would she let him around you or leave you alone with him as a child, and why would she not leave him or report him if she felt anything unusual?
I think your mum is projecting her insecurities and suspicions onto you so she doesn't have to fully face the fact that her husband is inappropriate.
Also, if you watch the movie Precious – there is a scene where the mother blames her daughter for the fathers sexual abuse and the mother was jealous of it. It was gross. Perhaps your mother is jealous and also projecting because she feels she can't leave your dad.
I think your mum thinks she is protecting you by sleeping in the same bed and reprimanding you, however, all she is doing is blaming you for her sick husband.
Whatever the reason, I hope you get out of that house soon.