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At the same time, her best friend left his job in Chicago and moved in with us, in FL.
This is a big deal. What happened with the best friend?
You’re dating an insecure, racist, alcoholic asshole. Please value yourself and walk away. You deserve so much better. I’d also recommend seeing a therapist to overcome the negative self-image this jerk has caused you to develop.
Updateme!
You have only been together a few months, why not keep dating until he is done with school and see if you are even still dating then
Are we really gatekeeping sexual assault now? Is that what we're going here on Reddit these days? Genuinely wtf is wrong with you
Maybe 8 months is enough time for him to accept the break up, fall in love with himself again and move on to better things (including you maybe)
He started treating you differently when you engaged, because he felt that he trapped you and he was now able to show his real self. All that you “know” about this man from before the engagement, was an act, it was him faking, all the time, to be a person that he is not. He is absolutely not the person you fell in love with, that person does not exist. The real person is what he's showing now: the controlling, abusive, angry man ready to sabotage your life and your livelihood and keep you literally trapped in the interior of your house 24/7 at his personal service.
Unfortunately there's nothing that you can say to him that will change this, he has been waiting, faking a personality until he felt he didn't have to anymore, and the real him is a man who doesn't care about you as a person, only as a possession. And he will do all of this to your child and make your child greatly suffer with a lot of abuse and trauma, I know this first hand because I was the abused, traumatized child in this exact situation. My “father” (he never cared for me one day of his life) did something very similar to my mother. The man is nearly 90 years old, my mom is still married to this abuser, and he never changed and only escalated his abuse towards her and towards me, no matter how much we both spoke to him. Abusers don't want to listen, they just want to continue to abuse.
You have two choices here: make an escape plan, and leave, get a job in another city, deal with this man in court regarding your child, or stay with him and become my mother and letting your child experience the decades of abuse that I experienced. I'm so sorry, but there are no other options, there are no magical words that you can say to an abuser that decided to abuse.
You are only avoiding inevitable. Unless you get help for this phobia, your GF will ultimately have enough of you and find someone who life will be easier with. It sounds very tiring to be with you.
Since your posting this all over….
How do you think she would react? Do you think it would be a negative or positive response?
How long have you been together? Is outright sex an option?
Shouldn’t be a problem since OP is completely self-sufficient.
To protect his will being i understand… your not gonna snitch right ??
If the fedora fits…
Why wasn’t this a before marriage and children problem. You overlooked it then. (It was always happening). Why is it suddenly a problem now?