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I'm not sure why you are getting downvoted, as a sa survivor, i agree met him in his comfortable space, be a willing ear but most importantly, just be there. I am friends with several sa survivors, everyone's “support” can look different and that's ok. For men specifically, it's OK to express concern for his emotions and let him know he saved you and acknowledge that he paid a price for that. Affirm his masculinity and let him know he's not alone. It's also ok to seek support for yourself. Care and well wishes for you both.
Why don’t you let his family know
She’s homeless and unemployed, not exactly a lovely upbringing for a newborn
You’re making the decision now. She felt attraction to someone else, contemplated cheating, discussed cheating, and then decided not to cheat. This led you to contemplate and discuss cheating, and subsequently decided de to TRY cheating. Your decisions are ending the marriage. Now. That’s what everyone here is trying to tell you.
You have to get rid of the dog or the boyfriend, cause by favoring one you're abusing the other. And you're doing way worse by the dog. I hate to say this, but maybe there is a reason he's 35 and single, and didn't bring up this would be an issue beforehand. Maybe he didn't know, but if he's gone this long without a pet he had to suspect.
You have gotten a lot of great advice on why the way you asked her out was bad, but I would like you to put yourself in the girl's shoes, in case you are not convinced.
What would you answer to the following questions “hey acquaintance, when are you going to a gay bar with me?”
“Hey coworker, when will you go shoe shopping with me?”
“Hey friend's cousin, when will you go to square dancing lessons with me?”
None of them are bad things to do, but they might not be your cup of tea, and it feels uncomfortable to be asked something that already has an acceptance premise to it, especially in a situation where there are expectations of continuous social contact.
Little tip, when you ask someone out, you don't want to create those uncomfortable feelings. You want her to feel comfortable and safe. That's, like, the base-level expectation.
I dont have any advice really. I've been in her situation before when an edible kicked it way stronger than I thought while having sex. I was terrified of the edible's reaction and was simultaneously in the most vulnerable position a human can be in (very hot with someone quite literally in your body). It was overwhelming. Ive been assaulted before and so my body was perceiving a threat. Thankfully my partner knew my body language well and stopped before I asked. But had he not, i very well make have confused the situation for something nefarious, rather than loving. The experience was traumatizing and I barely remember all the details because of my high. Im sorry this happened to you both. I hope you'll both be able to recover, even if it's not together.
You're not in a LDR, you're in an on-line relationship. Big difference. She's telling you to give up your real life for a fantasy construct live. Mature relationships include give and take- not rediculous demands. This girl is too immature for any kind of relationship. Set your boundaries to include more of real life. If that means she's not the one, then know that you got out of a horrible situation.
Exactly – you’re romanticizing who he is.
*I have something personal that has nothing to do with my girlfriend and when I told her that I am not going to tell her*
Why did you tell her this, Op?
I'm honestly and sincerely asking you.
If you have something that is so~~~ personal and has nothing to do with her, why would you tell her? To what end? How did you think she would react?
You are being deliberately provocative. Creating drama. YOU did this, Op. It is all of your making.
In addition, you are trying to make yourself the victim.
I know you are financially tapped out, but is there any way to “sell” your wedding to someone else? Maybe post on FB or word of mouth, sell the cake, the reception center, the dress, etc? You might not get your full amount back, but maybe half?? And you might be helping someone else in the process! And that money could be put towards a new place to online for you and your boys!
It sounds like, because it’s so close to the wedding, he let his true colors show. He knows you don’t have any money left to leave, and because it’s so close to the wedding you don’t want to lose face.
It sounds manipulatIve to me, like he couldn’t wear the mask a minute longer.
Good Luck!
You're quite right on the fact that it is not that big deal.
I think the solution of cuddling and sneaking out after isn't that bad and we should give a try. Thanks for your answer!
The 2 bedroom appartement is most probably what is awaiting us at some point.
The big deal is when we travel, we leave together in an hotel room for several days/weeks but we'll try the sneak out I guess.
You can post that review now. The death isn't fresh, and what he did is still true. Mention this has haunted you for a year and you cannot in good conscience let him continue to operate without at least giving other people the opportunity to know who they would be hiring. Totally legit.
But it's like TV so you should be fine with it! It's not like anyone ever wants to watch anything real on TV!! Right?? /s