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He’s being toxic. He doesn’t want to fix things if he can’t grow up and face the consequences. Move on don’t look back
No it wouldn't. You are taking far too much responsibility for someone else's actions. Tell her back the hell up and move on.
If you really aren't cheating, and she's accusing you of cheating, she's probably cheating.
Why? If he can channel the guilt into being better and never cheating again, why would he relieve his guilt by causing her pain?
Then get me another one. At least he doesn’t insult me and decide that I deserve to be criticized and judged without empathy. Try telling your own therapist how you’ve been talking to me live! and I can guarantee they will tell you that YOUR behavior is more inappropriate and disrespectful.
So your pastor is in support of you going back to homophobic parents that treated you poorly and away from your actual self…. Are you sure they are actually supportive of gay people? As a lesbian myself that just seems like he’s trying to push you into a place where you can’t safely be yourself.
If you have this baby it will either grow up poor and maybe homeless, or will grow up in an abusive household that may be racist towards it as well. Do you have plans to find black hairstylists for your baby? Ways to immerse it in black culture and give it an understanding of its roots? How are you going to deal with all of the racism the child would experience?
You have no actual resources. If you bring this baby into the world it is literally just going to suffer and that’s worse than not existing yet. It’s going to be so difficult for you as well, and you will end up trapped if you go back to your parents. Unless they force you to marry a nice man from church to support you and “save you from yourself”.
I came here to ask this. If Sarah is 40 and OP is 25, it may simply be that Sarah finds little in common with OP.
OP is in denial about fiancé’s capacity to change. He is telling you he’s given his maybe 90% and you see 10% and this has been it for 6-8 years.
It doesn’t take that long to build a habit. My bf had these issues very early on when we started living together. He’s already improved in less than 4 months. If you want to keep putting up with these fights for another 8 years only to see a minute improvement to 20% and he’s thinking he’s at 100%, you’re are the delusional one here. At this point you either accept he’s lazy and irresponsible and love him for it anyway because honey, there is not much of anything else you can “fix” from here on out.
Would she consider temporary fostering of kids?
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Your mom is still young. Get her to go out more to meet people around her age, join activities, hobbies, travelling etc. Basicslly just talking to people. There will be some one out there for her.
I missed the post, is the std one that's curable? And also leave him
I missed the post, is the std one that's curable? And also leave him
He’s not my first love nor am i his but i definitely did that with mine. I’m scared to give up my bestfriend just because it’s naked for a bit.
We’ve talked about it a lot. I think she’d go down to the court house today if I asked her. I just have this mental block, which I know is my fault and I’m going to speak to my counselor today about it, if just trying to seek advice from an outside source, I guess.
That’s why she’s 40 and dating a 32 year old. I hope OP breaks up with her. I fear he has extremely low self esteem hence why he’s putting up with this in the first place.
Editing to add; yup, just as I suspected, OP doesn’t believe he can do better than the childish 40 yr old POS cheater he’s with now. I saw a comment from him after I posted this that said “no I don’t think I can do better”. It’s sad really, because she knows he thinks this way too. She’s using him, abusing him and cheating on him bc of his low self esteem.
OP if you read this please dump her, and get some therapy. Being single is better than being used abused and cheated on. You deserve SO better. You’re only 32. Work on yourself and your issues, and when you least expect it you’ll find someone who loves you and treats you right.
Edit 2; just to clarify I say she’s abusing him, I mean mentally and emotionally. Showing up to his job bc she didn’t get a text for 4 hours. Playing games like “don’t get me a gift” and then giving him the cold shoulder and saying “don’t call me” for just doing what she said. The emotional cheating (and probably physical cheating too wouldn’t put it past her). I could go on and on but this is why I keep saying he’s being used and abused. Also, this type of behavior is why she is 40 years old, not married and dating younger than her. No man her age with self esteem would ever put up with this.
It’s almost as if you should read the post before commenting.
You don't need to be stressing about this, but it is not wrong to bring it up to see if you want the same things in the future. I don't want kids or marriage, so i have that conversation in the beginning to see if we are on the same line.
You've got 10 years of info that this is who she is. She's not going to change.
If this a deal breaker, then it's time to exit the relationship. Otherwise it's time for her to manage her adhd better or for her to hire cleaners to handle her share of chores.
I don’t disagree