15 thoughts on “Rakiyah-charms online sex chats for YOU!”
Imagine hiding it and then it coming out years later. It's understandable you didn't tell him right away as you were scared and processing it, but you need to tell him. Also a good idea to get tested for STD since you don't know what happened.
Nah, I do think wife should be the one to bring it up. Her friend is the one who got something super creepy from her husband. If one of my friend's husbands dit that to me, I'd feel very awkward, I wouldn't know what to say, and I wouldn't want to be the one having to bring it up. Like, I don't want to ruin your marriage, I don't want to ruin our friendship, but I'm also deeply uncomfortable…
OP, just want to caution you. You may be able to get him removed by the police for the time being but he wouldn’t be trespassing since your husband allowed him to stay. So just something to consider before involving the cops. May be more hassle than it’s worth since he could just waltz back in if your husband allows it. Could just wait the two days out and then confront your husband for the final time about this + divorce.
Definitely go through with the divorce though. It’s very clear that you’re exhausted and your husband is putting his family over you. It is the absolute worst when you don’t have the support of your spouse which results in fighting all these battles alone. You just want the best for your kids. But that means that you must do what’s best for yourself. This is no longer a safe environment and it’s becoming very toxic for all involved.
OP, he's just a miserable human being who projects his feelings on to others. That's it, that's all.
The empathetic side of me says he needs some help, because he's not happy.
The logical side of me says GTFO for your own sake. Him getting help is something he needs to do himself.
I think we all know people like this, or similar. They're not necessarily assholes outwardly, like your husband, but they can bring a room down in no time.
I have a cousin like this, and had to cut ties with him not that long ago, unfortunately. Still love and care about the guy, but he's his own worst enemy. One of my wife's brothers is like this as well, just angry at the world and has a negative aura around him.
The world revolves around people like them. Everybody else is wrong, or stupid and everything is somebody else's fault.
Sounds like your husband has just given up over the years, and it'll only get worse. If he's this bad at 40, I can't imagine what it would be like in another 20 or 30 years with him.
You should begin by giving each other access to each other medias and messages. There is no “snooping”. While yes this time this breach of privacy had post factum justification it remains a breach of trust in general. Unless you already had free access to ger messages that is.
As for relationship itself, deleting things won't fix relationship. It's not that she can't change, but if what is stopping her from e-dating is just lack of opportunity it's no better than cheating.
This is why you need to have talk about your issues as relationship, get to the bottom of why she has done that, what both of you can do to make your relationship better etc. Since it can be problematic if you struggle with it try couple counceling.
She got jealous knowing you were with other girls, keep doing you bro, she mad cause she thought the grass would be greener and she’d have you to come back to but now you’re doing good without her and that eats her up. Sounds toxic and the best revenge is success so keep it up and DO NOT take her back no matter what
Exactly! I was all ready to share about how my husband and I aren't each others “type” physically but we are very attracted to each other and how healthy and loving our relationship is and blah, blah, blah. Then she throws in that edit! Type doesn't matter when you're with someone you can no longer fully trust because of their character.
So, do you actually BELIEVE that over 50% of victims are lying, og do you just side with the offender to feel better about the stuff you've pulled yourself that should have landed you a report?
You need to assume that he's serious and never wants to be married. You cannot continue this relationship, thinking that you'll change his mind.
You need to figure out if you can stay with him if you're not married. Are you happy to be de facto? Think really naked about what it is you want out of marriage – do you want the big wedding? Do you want your children to be born in wedlock? Do you want to be legally tied?
Really take some time to think about it. If you'd be happy (and genuinely so!) with that arrangement, you could talk to him about what a non-married future looks like to him. Does he want assets to be kept separate or joined? Does he want kids? Who's name would they take? Is it a wedding or a marriage he doesn't want? How would he feel about a hand fastening, or another non-legal ceremony of commitment?
Just remember, you're not trying to convince him here, just understand his view.
And then when you have your feelings in order and understand his view of the future, you'll have the pieces to make a decision.
And, just as an aside, this man may be the best thing that ever happened to you, but that's only so far. You have so much time and love ahead of you, with or without this man. It may feel catastrophic now, and it may hurt for a long time, but if you split, you can and will find love again.
Ground ball. Dump her and move on. You already wasted two years on this person that you should’ve dumped six months in. Keep forgiving her cheating and keep getting cheated on.
Why do you feel like you have to 'convince him'. You don't. You just say 'Nope, not happening' and if he asks why, tell him 'I have no intention of signing on the financial dotted line with a guy who has collection agencies calling him daily. That would make me stupid and I'm not stupid.'
If he is in collections for debts, there is no way he will have the credit rating necessary to purchase a brand new car. That means it will go in your name which means, when he doesn't give you his half of the payment, you'll have to pay the entire thing or risk ruining your credit. And you'll have to do that for 4 – 5 years, no matter what (or sell the car at a loss, if it comes to that, and still be stuck making payments on the balance owing.) Furthermore, can you honestly say with confidence that you think he will come up with this massive payment every two weeks for the next 4 – 5 years? Without fail?? The guy with credit card debt that he ignores and collection agencies calling him daily is going to give you a big chunk of money 104 to 130 times in a row and never, ever be late. Yeah right.
Another consideration is your insurance rates. You're both new drivers and the insurance on a brand new car?? Your rates will be ridiculously astronomical. But since the car will be in your name, I'm betting the insurance will too, which means another massive bill that you'll be solely responsible for. Because face it, if this guy paid his bills regularly, you wouldn't have collection agencies calling so you can bet he's not going to be giving you money for bills that aren't in his name (not that he pays the bills that are in his name).
Honestly, why are you even with this guy? He spends far beyond his means, only cares about his image no matter the cost, is horrible with money and is now pressuring you to tie yourself to him financially. Dude is a financial boulder and he wants you to wrap a rope around your waist and jump into the deep end together.
I think you could and would fly a lot higher and a lot farther in your life if you cut this dead weight loose now.
He is holding u emotionally hostage. Chances r he's not going to kill himself..if he does…ITS NOT YOUR FAULT. Me personally..? I would contact friends if his as well as family. It will only worse for u if u dont..
Imagine hiding it and then it coming out years later. It's understandable you didn't tell him right away as you were scared and processing it, but you need to tell him. Also a good idea to get tested for STD since you don't know what happened.
Nah, I do think wife should be the one to bring it up. Her friend is the one who got something super creepy from her husband. If one of my friend's husbands dit that to me, I'd feel very awkward, I wouldn't know what to say, and I wouldn't want to be the one having to bring it up. Like, I don't want to ruin your marriage, I don't want to ruin our friendship, but I'm also deeply uncomfortable…
OP, just want to caution you. You may be able to get him removed by the police for the time being but he wouldn’t be trespassing since your husband allowed him to stay. So just something to consider before involving the cops. May be more hassle than it’s worth since he could just waltz back in if your husband allows it. Could just wait the two days out and then confront your husband for the final time about this + divorce.
Definitely go through with the divorce though. It’s very clear that you’re exhausted and your husband is putting his family over you. It is the absolute worst when you don’t have the support of your spouse which results in fighting all these battles alone. You just want the best for your kids. But that means that you must do what’s best for yourself. This is no longer a safe environment and it’s becoming very toxic for all involved.
OP, he's just a miserable human being who projects his feelings on to others. That's it, that's all.
The empathetic side of me says he needs some help, because he's not happy.
The logical side of me says GTFO for your own sake. Him getting help is something he needs to do himself.
I think we all know people like this, or similar. They're not necessarily assholes outwardly, like your husband, but they can bring a room down in no time.
I have a cousin like this, and had to cut ties with him not that long ago, unfortunately. Still love and care about the guy, but he's his own worst enemy. One of my wife's brothers is like this as well, just angry at the world and has a negative aura around him.
The world revolves around people like them. Everybody else is wrong, or stupid and everything is somebody else's fault.
Sounds like your husband has just given up over the years, and it'll only get worse. If he's this bad at 40, I can't imagine what it would be like in another 20 or 30 years with him.
Move out. Just please move out.
Just tell her, Im sure everything will be fine. She knows that you slept with others and she still accept you to marry you.
You should begin by giving each other access to each other medias and messages. There is no “snooping”. While yes this time this breach of privacy had post factum justification it remains a breach of trust in general. Unless you already had free access to ger messages that is.
As for relationship itself, deleting things won't fix relationship. It's not that she can't change, but if what is stopping her from e-dating is just lack of opportunity it's no better than cheating.
This is why you need to have talk about your issues as relationship, get to the bottom of why she has done that, what both of you can do to make your relationship better etc. Since it can be problematic if you struggle with it try couple counceling.
You can also just leave her, it's up to you.
Sounds like it's time for the both of you to check in with your doctors.
She got jealous knowing you were with other girls, keep doing you bro, she mad cause she thought the grass would be greener and she’d have you to come back to but now you’re doing good without her and that eats her up. Sounds toxic and the best revenge is success so keep it up and DO NOT take her back no matter what
Exactly! I was all ready to share about how my husband and I aren't each others “type” physically but we are very attracted to each other and how healthy and loving our relationship is and blah, blah, blah. Then she throws in that edit! Type doesn't matter when you're with someone you can no longer fully trust because of their character.
Are we projecting?
So, do you actually BELIEVE that over 50% of victims are lying, og do you just side with the offender to feel better about the stuff you've pulled yourself that should have landed you a report?
This is an awful situation, I'm so sorry.
You need to assume that he's serious and never wants to be married. You cannot continue this relationship, thinking that you'll change his mind.
You need to figure out if you can stay with him if you're not married. Are you happy to be de facto? Think really naked about what it is you want out of marriage – do you want the big wedding? Do you want your children to be born in wedlock? Do you want to be legally tied?
Really take some time to think about it. If you'd be happy (and genuinely so!) with that arrangement, you could talk to him about what a non-married future looks like to him. Does he want assets to be kept separate or joined? Does he want kids? Who's name would they take? Is it a wedding or a marriage he doesn't want? How would he feel about a hand fastening, or another non-legal ceremony of commitment?
Just remember, you're not trying to convince him here, just understand his view.
And then when you have your feelings in order and understand his view of the future, you'll have the pieces to make a decision.
And, just as an aside, this man may be the best thing that ever happened to you, but that's only so far. You have so much time and love ahead of you, with or without this man. It may feel catastrophic now, and it may hurt for a long time, but if you split, you can and will find love again.
Ground ball. Dump her and move on. You already wasted two years on this person that you should’ve dumped six months in. Keep forgiving her cheating and keep getting cheated on.
How do I convince him of this?
Why do you feel like you have to 'convince him'. You don't. You just say 'Nope, not happening' and if he asks why, tell him 'I have no intention of signing on the financial dotted line with a guy who has collection agencies calling him daily. That would make me stupid and I'm not stupid.'
If he is in collections for debts, there is no way he will have the credit rating necessary to purchase a brand new car. That means it will go in your name which means, when he doesn't give you his half of the payment, you'll have to pay the entire thing or risk ruining your credit. And you'll have to do that for 4 – 5 years, no matter what (or sell the car at a loss, if it comes to that, and still be stuck making payments on the balance owing.) Furthermore, can you honestly say with confidence that you think he will come up with this massive payment every two weeks for the next 4 – 5 years? Without fail?? The guy with credit card debt that he ignores and collection agencies calling him daily is going to give you a big chunk of money 104 to 130 times in a row and never, ever be late. Yeah right.
Another consideration is your insurance rates. You're both new drivers and the insurance on a brand new car?? Your rates will be ridiculously astronomical. But since the car will be in your name, I'm betting the insurance will too, which means another massive bill that you'll be solely responsible for. Because face it, if this guy paid his bills regularly, you wouldn't have collection agencies calling so you can bet he's not going to be giving you money for bills that aren't in his name (not that he pays the bills that are in his name).
Honestly, why are you even with this guy? He spends far beyond his means, only cares about his image no matter the cost, is horrible with money and is now pressuring you to tie yourself to him financially. Dude is a financial boulder and he wants you to wrap a rope around your waist and jump into the deep end together.
I think you could and would fly a lot higher and a lot farther in your life if you cut this dead weight loose now.
He is holding u emotionally hostage. Chances r he's not going to kill himself..if he does…ITS NOT YOUR FAULT. Me personally..? I would contact friends if his as well as family. It will only worse for u if u dont..