I hope you’ll be willing to go with her, improve your physical self as well and not just put it all on her.
You marry for the heart, not the looks and for you to say it’s a turn off, is your opinion yes, it’s just kinda shitty. I’m sure her doctor would tell her when it’s impacting her health.
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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Mate, you're supposed to be partners. You say you want to support her, be empathetic and understanding. These are great things to do for a partner… so why isn't she doing that for you?
Because she's not being a partner, she's being a leech. You're the only one trying to be a loving partner here, and you deserve better than to stay in a relationship where you're the only one putting in effort.
Either she makes a total change and starts acting like a partner, or she loses the privilege of having you act like one. That's the only solution here.
Dont know why this is downvoted. Thats exactly reasonable thing.
Not going to the same dude that brought you to orgasm is pretty much a given also not having sex until you feel comfortable is also perfectly reasonable.
“Hey, I wanted to check in with you and see how you are doing. I’ve noticed some things have changed with you recently that have me worried. You’re my friend, and I love you and I am here to support you no matter what.”
“What things are you talking about?”
“When you mentioned you got a respiratory infection from mold in your house, I got worried! You deserve a clean home. Also, I’ve noticed that you may be taking showers less frequently. Truly, no judgement! I just know that for me these two things are a warning sign for depression and I want to make sure you’re ok.”
He thinks you can survive as a family of three, with a mortgage, on an income of 52K? Honestly this sounds like a weird ego thing that he needs to work out in therapy on this own. He's making no practical sense, and is being patronizing and misogynistic on top of it. No thank you to kids with this man at this time.
I feel for you, OP. My husband and I got married 'later' in life, so we ended up with two of a lot of things when we combined households. No one needs 2 toasters and we definitely didn't need 3 of them.
We just put 'no gifts, please' and spread the word that we didn't need anything (including money). Friends helped us with that. Did everyone listen to us? No. But, it really curtailed what could have been.
Some people brought cards, some with money. But, we didn't get that much and I didn't want people to feel obligated.
Let it just be “no gifts, please. Just come and celebrate with us.”
I understand you feel strongly about this, but don't be an AH about it, either. Your wife can write the thank you notes.
Coffee?
I hope you’ll be willing to go with her, improve your physical self as well and not just put it all on her.
You marry for the heart, not the looks and for you to say it’s a turn off, is your opinion yes, it’s just kinda shitty. I’m sure her doctor would tell her when it’s impacting her health.
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Mate, you're supposed to be partners. You say you want to support her, be empathetic and understanding. These are great things to do for a partner… so why isn't she doing that for you?
Because she's not being a partner, she's being a leech. You're the only one trying to be a loving partner here, and you deserve better than to stay in a relationship where you're the only one putting in effort.
Either she makes a total change and starts acting like a partner, or she loses the privilege of having you act like one. That's the only solution here.
This is kind of where I'm at. I'm not her mum or dad. I think when I talk to her today I do need her to accept that she has issues around consumerism
Dont know why this is downvoted. Thats exactly reasonable thing.
Not going to the same dude that brought you to orgasm is pretty much a given also not having sex until you feel comfortable is also perfectly reasonable.
Roger doesn't get to give you away; he already did that 17 years ago.
“Hey, I wanted to check in with you and see how you are doing. I’ve noticed some things have changed with you recently that have me worried. You’re my friend, and I love you and I am here to support you no matter what.”
“What things are you talking about?”
“When you mentioned you got a respiratory infection from mold in your house, I got worried! You deserve a clean home. Also, I’ve noticed that you may be taking showers less frequently. Truly, no judgement! I just know that for me these two things are a warning sign for depression and I want to make sure you’re ok.”
He thinks you can survive as a family of three, with a mortgage, on an income of 52K? Honestly this sounds like a weird ego thing that he needs to work out in therapy on this own. He's making no practical sense, and is being patronizing and misogynistic on top of it. No thank you to kids with this man at this time.
I feel for you, OP. My husband and I got married 'later' in life, so we ended up with two of a lot of things when we combined households. No one needs 2 toasters and we definitely didn't need 3 of them.
We just put 'no gifts, please' and spread the word that we didn't need anything (including money). Friends helped us with that. Did everyone listen to us? No. But, it really curtailed what could have been.
Some people brought cards, some with money. But, we didn't get that much and I didn't want people to feel obligated.
Let it just be “no gifts, please. Just come and celebrate with us.”
I understand you feel strongly about this, but don't be an AH about it, either. Your wife can write the thank you notes.
This is the way! Good on you girl ❤