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1. I have read this one before.

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2. I think you guys are on different timelines but “later” is pretty nebulous and lots of guys say later when they mean never. So give her a more specific timeline that works for you. What does that look like? How much money? When do you want to buy a house? What do you prefer on terms of one parent staying home? Hash out what all those things would look like and a specific timeline. If you are not on the same page on the specifics, let her go.

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3. These are learned responses, particularly in the sense of which response is your first reaction. It has to do with what was effective when you were a baby. If crying meant food and comfort, you learned to take action. If crying got you yelled at repeatedly, you learn not to cry or expect help, and instead expect attacks. If crying just made…nothing happen, you learn that you are totally helpless and cannot change your circumstances.

   While that learning was a long time ago, and while it functions in a very similar way to totally unconscious instinct, it is possible to identify patterns like this and learn to change them.

   But you have to be willing to do so. And be willing to be made aware of them. Which many are not.

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4. That sounds frightening. I’d end this relationship so fast.

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