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The feeling associated with being broken up with is a feeling that we as humans will always comprehend as rejection. You will feel hurt & it’s valid, so don’t beat yourself up over not “getting over” it, cause you didn’t give yourself space away from her in the first place. And being friends with someone who you had such a significant relationship with is always going to remind you of the dynamic you once had. I think it’s best to not be friends right now, I don’t think you are ready, and maybe you might never be, but right now its best to focus on a life that doesn’t include her in the picture no matter how upsetting the thought of it sounds to you. Someday you may look back at all of this and have a laugh about it with her, but now it’s best to part ways.
Why do you think he needs to know now? And not when you were fucking his girlfriend?
Don't pretend to have morals. You're just butt hurt.
I agree with what others have said—bring it up with him privately and let him know you’ve noticed it happening a lot, then ask him to stop. If he gets defensive, reiterate that it’s not criticism, it’s just something you noticed and that you’d like for him to stop so you can speak for yourself.
OK so here's the update after a week or so;
I am no less confused about why she ghosted me, a few days ago she removed me from her followers on Instagram so I guess you were right about her not really liking me all along. But she opened my messages yesterday, and she still follows me? So more than anything else I'm just confused. I really don't understand why someone would go through all the effort of going on not one, but two dates, and then agreeing to a third if she really just wasn't into me. Why go through all that? Why blatantly lie and put me through all that? And why not just break the news to me like a human instead of just never speaking to me again? I really couldn't say and at this point I am not sad anymore I'm just really angry, because that's such an unnecessary and mean thing to do! I would've wanted to be friends with her too, if she did break it off instead of just leaving me hanging with no warning. I had known her for more than a year before we dated so I really can't fathom why she would treat me like that.
Oh well, I guess there's nothing more to do for me except move on from her with a bad taste in my mouth. Thank you for all your advice!
She was with her friends and not doing anything wrong. I’m a survivor of assault, and your logic is very much victim blaming. I don’t drink much anymore, but the idea that a woman simply drinking with friends (not vomiting, crying, trying to drive or do something reckless, not in danger) requires a man to physically remove her is insane.
I dont want her longing for more. I want her to be satisfied. I dont want to be compared and get the latter end of the shtick
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And you proved the reason why he is and why you are staying.
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And you proved the reason why he is and why you are staying.
Yeah this. My parents put on a show for the outside world, but would absolutely lose their shit if I or my brother turned out queer
My low self esteem wants me to believe otherwise but you’re all right about him wanting more than just a “friendly” night out. ?
So you two agreed on the combined last names, were both happy with it, then he backtracked once his family started bullying him?
He needs to stand up to his family and have more respect for you.
What sort of events and outings are these? Most families have a gradient of these for being “immediate family only” to more relaxed (for ex Xmas breakfast or Xmas Eve supper vs Thanksgiving vs family BBQ). Is she invited to any family events?