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I’ve put off wedding plans to work on our relationship for the sake of our daughter but I don’t think this relationship is serving me like it should and my daughter would be better off with separated parents than to observe our dynamic as normal ?
Women will ALWAYS tell other women to tell. Always. I see no reason why guys shouldn’t do the same.
No wonder you were insecure, he make you be that way! By telling you such awful things like that your background isn't good enough for his family. He deliberately manipulated you until you felt insecure, then used it as a weapon against you. He set it up so he had yet another thing to berate you for. He's clearly extremely dangerous, with how easily he can manipulate people, without them even realising. That isn't your fault at all, he has spent many years getting good at what he does, I'm sure. I bet he has a trail of victims before you, that he practiced manipulating until he could manipulate so well that his victims didn't even notice, and they just believed its all their fault.
I'm so sorry that you had the bad luck to come across such an awful deceitful person in your life and you got doubly unlucky that he chose you as his target. Once you've moved far away from him, you will finally be able to know what it feels like to be free again! I guarantee once you leave, you'll feel 100x better very fast! Stick to your friends and family, open up to them about this, let them support you. Please be careful with your exit plan from him. Don't let him know that you're leaving until you're already gone. People like him are incredibly dangous when they realise their victim is getting away. There are places that can give you advice and help with leaving safely
The “doctor appointment” to “check the implant” could have been her getting it removed…
I get nervous because I feel like sometimes I'll express myself and be bombarded with a million questions when I feel like what I'm communicating is really clear.
That right there too. Its behaviour that you're not a fan of. Call it out.
Not telling you to come out guns blazing and attack… but anything that doesn't sit right with you, needs to be addressed.
In a heathy relationship, you tune yourselves to the other.
I've called my GF out on her BS, she called me out on my BS… and the result is happily ever after. Why? Because we understood that it is good intentions behind it for the sake of improving things for the better.
You have to hold yourself AND your partner accountable.
I'm sorry for not responding. I can see 4 comments are present but for some reason Reddit is not showing them.
At your ages, there are no “breaks” she’s not trying to find herself, she’s trying to find herself without you. Take the hint and move on. Before you do that, sit her down and explain what will happen if this is what she wants. Outside of selling the house, you will have no contact with her. Before that happens you will need to find out which one of you keep the dog, there will be no sharing. After the funds from the house are split there will be no contact, period.
This is not being cruel, she has asked to move out to find herself, how does she expect that to happen if you’re both dealing with the dog and talking all the time. You should also want to spare her feelings when you start dating and find someone else. Not to mention sparing your feelings when she starts dating. You aren’t in high school, the only kind of break is a clean and total break.
Never having access to his phone is a little weird to me because my fiancé and I both know each others pass codes and have our fingerprints in our phones. Occasionally, we'll use each other's phones for a quick look up for something or to call/message someone real quick. It's not like we look through each other's phones to try to catch the other person in a lie, we trust each other. Your partner can still have his privacy even if you had access to his phone. I just feel like him saying you'll NEVER have access to his phone is a little unrealistic if you plan on spending the rest of your life with him.
This sounds extremely complicated and stressful. Me and my fiancé have a shared bank account where we both put 75% of our income, nomader how much it is, and that pretty much covers every bill, couple activity, food, household items ect. When we use the joint account we either make the purchase together or with the other's concent and have never once ever not even once argued over money.We still have 1/4th of our paycheck to use however we want and honestly i either buy myself a little something, or put it twords savings because i literally dont have to worry about bills. This won't work for every couple or every situation and different percentages might work better for other couples, but this method works wonders for us.
So…what he should have been doing already as someone who was also living in the space?
Does he do the bulk of the household chores or does he expect to split those 50/50 as well?