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1. It is doubtful that after making out publicly, that they did only the same privately all night.Tell her that since she lied by omission for over 3 years, you can not fully trust her story as she only admitted to what you knew and told her and you need to know the absolute truth to decidevon your course of action. This is a situation in which you must risk your marriage to potentially save it.Tell her you want her to take a polygraph to verify her story, and she has one last chance to come clean. State if she reuses to take the poly, or if it proves she is lying, the result is divorce. If she comes completely clean with exactly what happened and no direct lies or lies of omission, as proved by the polygraph, reconcilliation is an option. You should meet with the tester prior. Tell them everything you know and what you want to know. They will devise questions accordingly. If not a sociopath, psychopath or extreme narcissist, results are very accurate. Given her reaction to your confrontation, she is none of those. After learning the truth, should you decide to reconcile, you will not be able to heal and forgive her unless she is made to endure some unnegotiable consequences for her actions. The polygraph is one. A post-nuptial with a very strong moral clause in which a wayward loses everything is a must. Open phone policy, individual counseling, no more hen parties/girls' nights out, etc., are among others to consider. I also suggest a conversation on boundaries and consequences for crossing them. I am also curious as to why her friend would expose her after 3.5 years. Could it be that sshe is starting something up with somebody and her friend is providing a warning of what can happen when she drinks? Keep us updated. We are pulling for you 2 to save your marriage.

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