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You mean ex-fiancé
I found this post to be hilarious.
I mean if this is in the states its a blatant straw purchase which is a federal crime.
Some massage parlors come with a happy ending. You were not assaulted just maybe clueless on your part . Next time go to a reputable place. Maybe you should keep that one to yourself…not worth upsetting your girlfriend and risk her breaking up with you because you made a mistake in not knowing a real massage parlor versus a happy ending one.
Nor was she entitled to look through my shit
If the kids are going to have a different last name and you want it short and coherent then give them non-hyphenated portmanteaus. Your surname is Skyman, hers is Fluglehopper and the kids are Skyhoppers instead of Skyman-Fluglehoppers