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Birth Date: 1970-04-03
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
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Eyes color: eyeColorBrown
Subculture: subcultureHousewives
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I’m going through this right now but with a friend I’m helping who just got out of an emotionally abusive relationship. By the end of December she’ll have been with me for about 7 weeks and I’m afraid she’ll have nothing to show for it. I’m bummed because I’ve tried to hook her up with a place she can stay long term (mine is too small and there is an occupancy limit my landlord is allowing us to break) and a short term job. She hasn’t really picked up either one and I feel like she just wants someone to take care of her so she doesn’t have to do anything. I love her to bits and it sucks watching someone you love actively work against themself by doing nothing/wallowing and not taking any personal responsibility for their situation. I’m not unsympathetic either, I got out of a long term emotionally abusive relationship before. I dealt with it by working 50+ hour weeks, going to therapy, and sleeping when I wasn’t working. Sorry to hijack your comment and vent it’s just on my mind today and it’s naked.
As a guy, some girls I can look at and think they’re hot, and some girls I look at and think they’re cute. The distinction is weird. Hard usually applied to the influencer type body, cute applies to a girl with a beautiful face and a wholesome smile, and usually more petite and smaller in stature.
Both are attractive, but I’ve always found myself crushing on the cute girls. There’s something so enchanting and warm to a cute girl. Honestly when I think of the girls I’ve found most attractive in my life, “pretty and cute” apply better than “hot and sexy”.
Take it as a compliment.
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I'm really glad you like her body more than ever, but its best if you don't comment on it (pro or con.) For people who have obsessive thoughts about their weight, the best thing you can do is to make them think it's completely out of your mind. I'm definitely on the obsessive end when it comes to my weight and the greatest time for me and my body was when I was with my ex who kept encouraging me to eat. Sometimes he called me skin and bones but i was like that when we met so, didn't bother me. I was afraid to gain weight and he made the prospect less scary. As far as i am concerned the only people's opinions who matter about my body are mine and my partners', so i was able to just focus on trying to like my body without external pressures. So freeing! Haven't felt so neutral about my body since we broke up so, keep in mind positive impacts are fleeting (and negative ones stay forever.)
If she brings it up, encourage her. Be like “did you gain weight? Huh. Guess I didn't notice cause I was too busy checking you out. You're as beautiful/sexy/hot as you've ever been.” If her family makes comments, privately (on the ride home) be like “i can't believe aunt Kelly said you gained weight! Why is she so critical? That's so weird that she'd comment on your body.” Support her if she comes to you about it. Lift her up if someone else tears her down, but don't make weight a frequent topic of conversation.
He sounds like a user. He was happy to have you be his unpaid caregiver for a year, but now that he no longer needs you in that capacity, you are an annoyance to him?
If you gave your time and attention out of love, it can be nude to accept that he doesn't feel the same way. You can't treat love as a transaction. But if you are feeling unloved as a partner, it's probably time for you to end the relationship.
I would rethink the whole relationship if an issue the whole time has been him “not respecting you , your time & your wants” . It may not be love you two feel but just comfortable together . You deserve someone who treats you better / puts you first. The last thing you want or need in the long run is a man you talked into marring you. It’s down hill after that .
This is obviously a troll post. OP is literally bludgeoning us with “gay husband” facts. If youre really that clueless, nobody here can help you.
She might have been able to walk out of a party. She didn't want to walk out, so OP picked her up and carried her out.
He heard you crying. He heard you begging him to stop. But he only cared about how HE felt. He knew he was hurting you very much and decided that wasn’t important enough to stop what was making him feel good. And he pressured you into it with the bare minimum that he would stop if you asked and then completely ignored his partner crying and pain and begging him to stop. That’s disturbingly cruel behavior. You should never trust him again
I feel sick for you. I’m so sorry. And yes, this is rape. Please consider calling the rape hotline at 1-800-656-4673. The trauma you just experienced will be with you for a while.
Men have secrets. With some of them, the bar is a lot lower than their parents expect.
well that is perfectly normal. You are still young tho, why stay?
My husband's stepsister was with a sweet guy for ten years. He came to all the family get-togethers, Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc. We all loved him, and they parted amicably. After they broke up he still came to family stuff, and we were all happy to see him. That lasted another two years.
Then he met his new girlfriend, who was seriously uncomfortable with him coming to visit. She put her foot down. He's now married to her, my sister-in-law is married to someone else, and we still haven't seen him. We all miss him terribly.The only communication we are allowed are email blasts for his band.
OP, you need to let go of this. Get to know the guy. This doesn't have to be a zero sum game.