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Yeah that's what's bothering you, not the chic. Time to take stock of your life. Don't be a sucker
My boyfriend is sweet but when he gets angry he hits and breaks things
My boyfriend is sweet
when he gets angry he hits and breaks things
Remove the but. He is not sweet. Anger is a normal emotion, it's for you to know when someone has crossed your personal boundaries. The way he reacts on them is not normal.
Remove the but.
how do I handle this??
What's your bf's plan? Tbh, I'd consider it somewhat of a red flag that he wasn't transparent about his faith from the start…. and told you about what it would mean for the relationship.
Is he planning on marrying a religious woman later on, and is using you as a “having a good time now”-girl? Is he hoping that you'll convert? If not….what's his timeline to get engaged/married? What about you?
Duuuude, I know you're hurting, but let this one go. She's not ready (and maybe neither are you). I get leaving up some pics or things of your late wife, I even get talking to the picture if you think she's watching over you, but it sounds like your whole house is a shrine and I'm not sure that's healthy either.
Any new partner is going to have to come in with the understanding that you didn't divorce, you didn't “break up”, she died. She's not your ex. So even 10 years later it's hot to just move on.
If you haven't gone already, therapy and/or grief counseling would be good to start going to for help with this. And maybe your daughter too.
I have an incredibly positive one that I'm happy to share, but I logically know there's a reason you're asking this question. I'd rather you tell us your story, provide advice and give my anecdote than just tell you my anecdote. It simply won't be helpful at all.
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Err run
Time to makena budget and discuss finances more openly and (for him) honestly.
It seems strange that you don't have combines finances (but that's gen X me talking) and maybe it makes sense this way if he is irresponsible.
He has always been abusive to you. Every time he “roughhoused” with you was to physically dominate you. This was never a physically appropriate relationship.
You have outright stated you were not OK with him, but he continues to do this.
He will not stop. He has, through his own choices given you only two choices. You can either stick around for him to continue to do this thing that you hate and have a myriad of legitimate reasons to hate, and which he knows that you hate, OR you can end the relationship.
Do you see yourself tolerating this for a year? 5 years? 10 years? Do you see your children tolerating this as well? Do you want to face further escalation of the abuse? If not, then you know you ARE going to have to terminate this relationship at some point.
“We're going to have sex and if you don't want to, I'll rape you.”
Where exactly is the joke?
when I confronted him instead of apologizing or saying he regrets the comment he just bluntly stated that he didn’t even know where to buy roofies.
So he would just straight-up rape you instead of drug you?
I don't know how you two normally banter, but it sounds like you're not okay with it. When you confronted him, he didn't even apologize. He thinks he is in the home stretch regarding the wedding.
So the question is: are you okay with it? Do you feel safe with him? If one or both of the answers are 'No', I think you should call off the wedding and get somewhere safe.
Give him a warning first perhaps before you follow through. Then it's on him to do his job then or have his activity ruined (like he ruins yours). If he's given every chance to avoid the consequence he doesn't like and chooses not to then it's on him, not you.
I think as long as you're worried about being mean he'll take advantage. Find the point that's assertive and stand up for yourself from there. It's obviously further along than you're at now.
Block her
Exactly. People are completely overlooking him cheating and kind of insinuating that she’s purposefully not wanting to have sex.
Don’t marry someone who calls in to work all the time. They are not responsible and will not be a full partner in your marriage. Let her leave. Work on getting your life where you want it to be.
You can respond “Thanks for the 'compliment' but it's really creepy to have someone old enough to be my dad keep making comments about my dateability. I'm not interested and the 'joke' isn't funny”
Me too. She seems like a really sweet woman that didn’t deserve any of this. If worst comes to worst, I hope in the end she winds up stronger, wiser and happier finally finding a man who will cherish her and not provide entertainment for co workers with crushes.