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Learning about the concept of missing missing reasons made some of the worst, most baffling parts of my relationship with my parents come into perfect clarity. Genuinely life-altering to have answers to the “wtf just happened in that conversation, what was that?” questions
Whatever struggles you’re having now will be compounded in a permanent living situation/LTR.
He apparently is okay living in a unhygienic situation, not including his gf in relaxing activities like finding something you both can watch, and thinks that when you bring up valid concerns the best mode of operation is to dismiss it.
I can’t tell you what to do as I’m just a stranger, but I will say it is far far easier to find someone who already wants to keep a clean(ish) house, wants to include you, and wants to work through issues- than it is to try and strong-arm someone into doing it after the fact.
Would you be happy with this arrangement in perpetuity? Because that is what you are looking at.
We probably won't be going from here on out, thanks. Totally agree with you that SIL has every right to invite her btw. I don't care at all that they are friends, I just don't have to spend all my holidays and visits around her. That's my own prerogative.
You can have a perfectly healthy pregnancy at that age. You can also have a perfectly healthy pregnancy in your 40s
There is a saying you pick your family. That means it is a choice. You are making a choice that those people are not your family. It is fine either way, but remember that your dad has the right to feel about your decesion however he wants.
This is a different situation than your in-laws. Think of it as you and your wife. Would you be happy if your dad said that she is not his family?
You seem to have trouble taking any responsibility-your son has spent his life being gaslit, dealt with narcissistic parents and living in some sort of toxic atmosphere-read what you wrote again-it’s all about how wronged you feel you are- nothing about taking ownership of the issues you and your husband have caused, you’ve never made an effort to rectify the problems, now you’re placing all blame on son’s shoulders
Wow. Thank you so much for this. It is exactly what I needed. Its like you read my mind ? and insecurities. It's nude to accept change, but that's life I guess… I will talk to him about it and try to spend time with her too. Really really thank you!