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Its Ben, 20 y.o.
Location: Florida, United States
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As other people have said this is really all about different perspectives/expectations in modern dating. When I've dated multiple people its usually been separated by a day because I generally would consider afterwards whether they were worth the call back or not. Also I wouldn't have the energy to go on another date/hook up (but this is just me).
From my perspective what you did…makes me wonder why you started dating this guy? Makes me think you didn't even consider him at all when you went to have sex with someone else right after. Your boyfriend still really likes you but is probably disgusted by your actions because they don't reflect his values. He doesn't trust that you actually VALUE him, and all you seem to care about whether you are in the wrong or not…
Yes but it was 3 months. I respect that relationship but him and I were engaged before we broke up and he found this relationship. So 3 years and a commitment meant nothing to him eventually. How can I let this feeling go?
Yeah… it really sounds like your husband decided to take advantage and rape your sister. Please keep that in mind Re: your relationship with your sister — it would be good for you to find out from her if that was the first time or not.
My dude, you were raped. End shit with her and explore your legal options
That's emotional abuse, best thing you can do is end it. Cheating is shitty, but accusing someone of rape as payback is so sick, one of the very worst things a person can do to someone. People like her are the reason women aren't believed.
Also get him to verbally commit that having a clean house to online in is important to him. And that it's his responsibility to be an equal partner. That means he is also responsible for getting cleaningvsupplies and planning out when to tale on tasks.
Do NOT make the chore chart for him. Don't do that unapprciated, unacknowledged emotional labor for him. He needs to create the chore chart with you. Do it together. Both of you decide how often things should routinely be done. Then agree when you're going to check in (a month or two) to see if either of you wants to make something more frequent tha. You agreed upon, or add items that you overlooked.
The living room is not the point at all. The point is that you have absolutely no say as to what goes on in this house: who lives there, what parts of the house are your domain. You have no leverage in this marriage. Why put up with that?
If you left, he would have to support three people. You would only have to support yourself.