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Why are you being so very hot on yourself? You have not done anything wrong, the issues your dealing with are not about you being a bad person, they are about your gf being insecure.
How would you react if your partner would take his mother on an exotic holidays, but wouldn’t prioritize your relationship (for example – engagement)
Thank you for your words I appreciate it.
He literally WOULD NOT let me take them and my family is weird and wouldn’t let me take them with me. They spent the night some nights and I visited but I was working full time and he wasn’t because he refused to get a job. If I could have, it would have been no question. That and he threatened to take 80/20 custody if I didn’t just leave
The title literally makes no sense rofl.
It is possible that he still has feelings for you, but it is also important to make sure your boundaries are respected. If telling him doesn't work the second time, then the next step would be to consider ending the friendship entirely if his behavior does not change. Just remember that there can always be other options and mental health professionals who may be able to help support you through this situation.
Is it worth it trying to make a last stand and seeking honesty and truth about what caused them to change, or should I just run for the hills to cover my ass and not look back? It seems like I'm unable to stand up for myself. Like I'm so out of touch with everything other then the relationship but I'm not even in tune with that. Merry Christmas by the way!
Unfortunately, Samantha just revealed herself to be a threat to your marriage. Take the steps needed to protect your marriage, first and foremost telling your wife everything she said
This is exactly me
I would be furious if my partner spoke to MY manager behind my back.
ESPECIALLY if you knew she was going through a rough patch at work where something like this could make it worse for her.
You don't know the intimate details of her work dynamics, you only know what you have been told. She could have had an important deadline or project coming up, she could be wanting to prove her work ethic for a promotion, or stressing because she couldn't afford to loose a few hours pay etc.
10years of no contact with anyone? Your buddy you are staying with never mentioned it before?
Smells like bullshit
This is definitely a slippery slope right here. It sounds like he has too much unresolved trauma that could eventually end up isolating you from friends and family. It's absolutely healthy to have additional friends and family to have support and to enjoy their company. Having major insecurity over not being there 24/7 with someone is going to mentally exhaust you.
The thing here is that he guilt trips you into saying that you don't care about him or you're going to find someone better if you spend a single second without him. That's harsh.
I don't know if this is something that the two of you can overcome organically. It seems like he has too many issues with you being away from him for you to be able to sort this out. If you want it to work, he's going to need individual therapy and also couples counseling.