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5KKate (blonde) and Michelle, y.o.
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Kate (blonde) and Michelle, y.o.
Location:
Room subject:
To Start live video press there
He's had mental issues in the past, and is currently on medication for it.
I don't think it is his culture? He is from a different culture from me, but I've met a lot of people from his culture and none of them have a BO problem.
Oh shit, I think I found her you guys…
handing over financial control
Sounds like it was your decision. It's very different when someone is asking for help. This isn't a decision OP can make or even suggest. To do so would be controlling.
A 27yo buying the latest iPhone isn't at a level of concern. She's paying down her debt. It could always be faster, but she's young. It doesn't sound like she has an addiction or mental illness. It just sounds like she could use some guidance on setting financial priorities and visualizing where money is going. This is financial planner territory, not psychotherapy and removing her financial autonomy.
What would help you finish? You need to give him clear instructions on what he can do.
Have you shared your concerns with her and asked her how she’d like to be supported?
To be honest, if she’s so poorly managed, she probably shouldn’t be dating. She should probably focus on getting herself sorted. This isn’t fair to you either.
And frankly, with your age gap, I’d expect you two to be in very different life stages and that she’s not dating someone closer to her age makes me think other more mature men aren’t willing to put up with this.
Like seriously…how many “traumatic events” can a person be having? Kind of seems to me that she struggles with basic challenging situations that most people would not consider “trauma”.
I’m not here to gate keep trauma. I have CPTSD and understand the concept of triggers that most people would not bat an eye at. But through therapy, I learned mitigation strategies in my 20’s.
I dunno. If you want to keep things going then talk to her about how her shut downs make you feel and ask her how you can be of help/support. But if you want kids and such? This isn’t the right person.
Massive red flag, and actually illegal depending on what state you’re in. Break up with her man.
There is probably some kind of mental illness or functional difficulty tied in there,. Or maybe they were raised in impoverished environments and are overly used to it.
But if they did a good job raising her, and one is functioning well enough to pay tuition and cruises, then I think that cycle is being broken with your gf. And it is a good sign that she is not embarrassed of them. It shows loyalty and secure attachment.
When I am being judgemental, what helps me is to try to analyze the composing elements of the situation. It makes it harder to apply value judgements, snd is helpful in expanding my understanding of the world. Spice of life.
So what you're saying is…
You're awesome, you're kicking ass professionally, and this mofo only wants to kick you down to his level if not lower?
Gurl. Being single forever is better than this asshole.
You're smart, capable, successful, I assume beautiful, and he resents you for it, he resents that you're an amazing person doing incredible for herself, he fucking hates your success and thinks less of you for it.
If he's not going to be your rock and cheerleader when you're busy being great, then he should not be in your life.
Go off and live! your best life, what is this shit about your supposed partner not supporting you? It's not like you're doing some horrible things to innocent people, you're literally climbing the world in very admirable ways, and fuck him for not being in awe.
You can do so much better than this fucker, seriously, being alone for a decade would be better than this guy, who along with never maturing, will never be a supporter, he'll always just tear you down.
Don't cling to who want you to be lower than them, because their toxicity will kill you, and you clearly have the potential to be even better than even now, and you're already so great; guys such as yours don't someone on their level, they want someone they can feel superior to, and sorry to him, but ah, you are better than him, you're better than some 28yo child with no desire to better himself, who sees his girlfriend as some kind of monster he has to neg in order to feel better about himself.
Lose the loser, he's not worth it.
Sounds like you shouldn’t have taken him back. What are we doing here?