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your wife did not want you to meet this woman, you crossed that line and still did it. it seems like the misses may have some underlying trust issues but you still crossed her boundaries. were you always (platonic) friends with this woman before you got married? she may feel like you are having an emotional affair with this woman since you have dated her in the past. have a heart to heart conversation to resolve the issue at hand.
He does seen a little immature. The only thing you can really do is have another sit down and explain to him how you feel about gaming. Possibly suggest a different new activity you both could do together.
Good luck!
Jerry seems to be far from racist.
Lol exactly what I was thinking
At 33 years old, he needs to have learned how to communicate. Some people are efficient talkers, using few words. Some people are overtalkers and express every thought whether you want to hear it or not. There is a happy medium here, but he's nowhere near it.
He has so many triggers that he won't discuss with you. How could this person possibly be a parent? Partners can at least have some kind of foreknowledge and choose to stay. Children don't have a choice, and this type of communication style can seriously damage a child. From his behaviour, it sounds like he is damaged by whatever happened to him growing up.
He's not ready to be a partner. He's definitely not ready to be a parent. He's not ready for therapy.
There are wonderful men out there who are emotionally available. Do you want to be in a relationship where you are not connecting on the most intimate and basic level with your partner? If he's not sharing with you, he doesn't trust you intrinsically. You can't have a relationship if he's not willing to let you in. Sorry.
The very fact he is shocked by your request demonstrates to me where is heart is at. His connection with her runs deeper than he is telling you and I am sure on some level you even know this. You said there were together for 7 months? Unless I misread the post, that relationship they had was much longer than that, or it was that deep, at least on one side.
Let's say you do decide to move forward and stay with him, that's your choice, but he absolutely should be mentally prepared for the reality that when you're married, if you ask him to cut off his ex it should not be an issue. If he cannot do that, I would really would start asking yourself some tough questions.
My only suggestion OP is to have another conversation with him and really ask him all the tough questions about this ex, who is she really? Does the husband know about this? Would he cut her off if you asked? You both have been together 4 years, and I assume plan to be married, you have a right to know what you're committing to especially if she is going to remain in picture.
Also just realize that if he is friends with an ex, likely he wouldn't have an issue keeping other “women” around and have a similar relationship with them. And with that said, if you're also keeping male “friends” around, don't be surprised if that also comes up in conversation.
Sounds like he has a crush or is trying to start something and she doesn't seem interested.
I'd definitely bring it up.. why he lied about her asking him to meet and why he thinks it's ok to ask her to hang out constantly.. I'm sure if the roles were reversed he would have a problem.