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Honestly, I would be honest with her. The only reason you would have had to go through her phone was because you felt that she was hiding something which she was clearly. Its extremely disrespectful to your relationship and it sounds to me like her intentions are elsewhere. If she isn't appreciating what she has in front of her then let her go.
This is a YOU issue, not a HER issue. This is not a new behavior for her. She was like this before you started dating her. It’s not reasonable for you to try to change her or control what clothes she wears. It’s her body and she can do what she wants with it. The fact that you aren’t comfortable with the way she dresses doesn’t obligate her to change for you.
Try to examine why this bothers you, and think about how you can change and learn to accept this about her. If you can’t get past this, you should consider breaking up with her.
Delusional
That's perfect
I am dating a guy with kids and if he went on a 4 day vacation with his ex and kids, I would not be okay with it. Especially if he did not tell me. Imo, your girlfriend crossed a huge boundary and you need to have a serious talk with her. Its not like you guys have only been together a couple of weeks, also. Its been 2 years, and you'd think she'd have more respect for you, and for your relationship.