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You know you’re in a healthy relationship when the biggest thing you fight about is cooking herbs..!!
I've never liked the engagement ring rule! It's sexist at minimum. I think people consider it more like a societal symbol nowadays, but we know that wasn't always true.
My husband spent on an engagement/wedding band set about what you consider to be a decent budget… And in return, I bought his wedding wedding ring with the same budget. I'm not saying it needs to be that way, but your partner and yourself need to consider each of your values and goals in life. Marriage shouldn't be the compatibility test, the relationship prior to it, should be.
How could he use the excuse that he didnt know where he crossed the line?.. You've had multiple conversations with him and he continues to push you towards a boundary you explicitly set. Dont walk away, RUN away from this grown man-child
It's up to you if you want to forgive or not. At the end of the day, you have to look after yourself first.
OP telling him at this point is not gonna make things better than knowing right away, in fact things might be worse now then they could’ve been then. What your mom said about messing up family dynamics is still in play; so if you need to clear your conscience be prepared to have to go stay somewhere else and to the humongous fights and name calling to come. If you’re lucky they won’t both blame you (one for telling and the other for keeping quiet) but be prepared for worse case scenario