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Heās never given me a reason to doubt him before this tho
Yeah, especially the sex part is hot to believe. Anyway, it doesn't my matter anymore after disappearing for 3 days.
If she said not to contact her, and you continue to contact her, she's probably just going to get pissed off. It may also make you seem pathetic and desperate, which is not attractive.
So–don't contact her. (And don't make a bunch of lame Facebook posts, hoping she'll read them.) If she really wants you in her life, she'll get in touch, soon enough. If not, then nothing you say to her, at this point, is likely to make a difference, anyway.
This is what I would do in your shoes. Do not confront him about it. Itās a waste of time and energy. I would carry on acting as if Iām still in the dark. Collect all the evidence. Screenshot everything, open a secret google account and store everything on that drive. Go to a bank and open a separate back account. Make sure itās not the bank you use with your husband. Pull out cash every time you go to the store and start squirreling it away little by little.
Start collecting every document that covers your assets. Meet with a few lawyers. You will be working closely with this person for years seeing you have children together. Make sure they are a shark but also someone you can trust.
Start building your support team. Call in trusted friends, let them know whatās happening.
When all that is done, you hand him divorce papers with printouts of all the screenshots. Tell him he has 30 days to move out. If you want to be extra petty, find this woman and send her the printouts too. Tell her you are leaving him over his obsession and lack of involvement of your marriage. Tell her it basically a heads up he might come looking for her and good luck.
Op, ever wonder if your depression was because you are living in an unfulfilled life with a dud of a husband?
Never date someone for their potential. Date who they are right now. Itās great that you can see the best in people, but when dating you have to deal with the reality on the ground.
Right now your bf sucks. He has shown no indication that he will get better. Donāt stay with him because of your magical thinking that he could be better.
I want to understand what he means by I couldn't control myself. How is it connected to his past trauma? What would he do different next time he feels like that is gonna happen? Open communication is your best move here. And while I agree it's in no way your responsible to hold his hand through it. I think it's a very loving think to offer support through his healing.
Plenty of people live! make it a point to call every flaw and imperfection someone has toxic, which is not fair. He does not need to be having sex without speaking to you openly about what will and won't happen during sex. He violated your trust and perhaps he felt vulnerable in that moment. But you also have to have the ability to work through it.
Not take it out or act out on it at the expense of your partner/SO
Bullshit. Anybody can benefit from individual therapy. But employing couples therapy at an 18yo dating relationship is just an attempt to avoid admitting that some things are exclusionary factors. Dating is supposed to be when you find exclusionary factors that make them ānot fit for purposeā and go a different direction, not try to force a healthy relationship from not-fit parts, as if couples therapy is a magic potion to turn any old pile of parts into a masterpiece. It isnāt. The parts arenāt there to begin with.
I don't think I could stay in this arrangement, but I understand why it's tricky for you. That gut reaction you had, that “unfair” feeling, wasn't about anything being unfair. She's able to make a boundary and communicate it to you, which is great. What you're feeling is disappointment. That's why you felt blindsided. It's an otherwise great thing that will be missing something many people are looking for. I'd listen to your gut. You're already upset by this. You're not compatible. It would be best for both of you to communicate that and move on.
Plot twist the dad is angling to be with the gf
You're assuming a lot. People DO send this type of video to other people, regardless of how they question their sexuality, identity, or feelings. Whatever bubble you think to be reality, isn't.
As a bi person with many friends I have the potential to be attracted to, who also have the potential to be attracted to me, the problem isnt having those type of friends, the problem is your lack of boundaries and your inability to make your partner feel secure.
Giving them a key and access to your phone doesnt automatically equate to feeling safe. Your actions towards her and other people does. You making your ex fix a gift for your friend, who had lied to get you to come out with them and invited herself back to your house after drinks? Having dated for that short of a time, and with your assumption that she is the one with a problem and insecurities that actually you dont want to deal with anyway, automatically putting it all on her? I wouldnt feel safe in your ability to be a good partner I could trust to make good desitions on their own either.
Even in the comments, you continue to do it. It went from my ex is insecure, no fault of my own. My friend might actually be a problem, I probably should have seen the signs, but instead of working on myself I'll just not have friends that could be attracted to me. At 34 you seem to have the emotional intelligence of a pet rock.
The 1 downfall is you ll worry for the rest of your life. So take that into consideration.
Idk much about BPD, but you should be able to trust your partner. If she says she loves you, take it at face value.
Consequences meaning however your family reacts.
Create a burner/burners on social media and tell everything to her family and her boyfriend. They need to know the full story, now.
That's totally out of your control. If she wanted to do something, anything, then she could do it without you. And knowing it was something she loved to do, it would be easy to surprise her with something related to that hobby/interest. TikTok can be amusing, but it doesn't lend itself to quality time spent together.
Going out on dates, visiting places you're both curious about (museums, waterfalls, antique motorcycles, etc). Hell, going to friends and having a bonfire or barbecue. It's really up to you if you want to even stay in the relationship. But i will say this, if she is suggesting that she wants to go out, your grumbling isn't going to make her want to spend time with you. Or do anything you want to do.
She comes from a conservative family and only studied upto 12th grade,she is really quiet and a introverted person,she sort of lacks personality for me.
Right? The first thing Iām told is āyour ass is huge!ā Yeah thanks, Iām also smart and humorous if you had got to know me before objectifying me ? itās not always the compliment people think it is. You know Iād never thought about sleeping until you mentioned it, but I donāt think Iāve ever slept on my back come to think of it ?