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So, only marriage is holding you back from having sex with your friends? wow, marriage is sadder than I thought.
My dad: yes . He mentioned to me You can’t find something as pure once you grow older.
you cant tell me I dont love her just cause we argued once.
You dont know what we have been through together..
This☝?
Lube can be extremely helpful and there's no reason to be ashamed of it 🙂 I use lube pretty much every time I'm with my partner and it just makes things easier.
If your position is exactly as you have portrayed, then you are not being unreasonable. You admit the boundary was not there before, and you want her to understand your feelings and not repeat it. She shouldn't have to apologize because as you admitted, being on stage causes everything to go crazy fast. But saying you didn't like it, and requesting she not do it again is reasonable. She should be able to recognize the boundary and not break it.
That having been said, I can't help but feel there is more to the story, however. For every single person she relates the story to to take her side, either she is lying or there is more than you are letting on. And her anger does not seem justifiable given the situation, so she either has a really strong obsession, or you said something you didn't mention here.
From the context it sounds like he was pretty clearly joking. I realize it might be a touchy subject for you, and you should talk to him about that, but I think you're overreacting.
How often do you go grocery shopping?? I go once a month, and i could let 3 weeks slip without problem
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He threatened to KILL YOUR FAMILY. Wake up. This is not a joke. He openly admitted to being a psychopath AND SAID HE WANTED TO MURDER PEOPLE. If you don’t listen to this warning he will absolutely act on it. You need to go to the police and warn your family NOW. Your life, the life of your family is in peril. Wake up!
Where were the gf's boundaries when it was her family and their aggressive dog living on their couch?
Boundaries are great, but that's not what this is. This is “it's OK to put my family up on the couch when they're in trouble, but not yours.”
I'm confused why you're so defensive of this behavior. It doesn't seem at all normal or healthy to me. I think OP's sister is not the only one in an unhealthy relationship. It seems like a breakup would be the best, most healthy boundary of all for both OP and her girlfriend. There are just huge gaps in their ideas of how to treat in-laws, and it doesn't seem like there's enough time in this situation, sadly, to work through it with a counselor.
Sometimes victim of SA try things out in order rewrite their stories. They try to take control of it. So by planning something similar to her rape, it will feel like she is in control.
I would not do this for her. It could backfire. But, be understanding that it is part of her working things out. My daughter, for instance, went through a phase where she had casual sex with guys she met online after her sexual assault by her boyfriend. She had never done that before (she had hardly dated in the years before her bf) and it made me nervous, but I never criticized her for it and it was obvious to me that it was a reaction and a way to figure out some things. Take control. The phase ended.
i am sorry to tell you but if your connection was so great he wouldnt try to hook up with other people
That’s not completely true. It can be religious but a lot of the topics that are covered are not like Hebrew language and Jewish history.
Honestly this doesn't sounds liker a relationship that is going to last. 5 months in should still be the honeymoon phase.
Thank you. I’m just unsure of whether I should give him time to prove he can handle it maturely on his own or step in and make it clear I’m not accepting this friendship. Or if for now it’s sufficient to just be vocal and direct with my feelings on the matter, but still allow him time to solve it himself.
I just feel like he isn’t going to tell me if she keeps texting him all of the time without me asking about it, in order to avoid confrontation with me. But then it makes me feel like I’m the one bringing in the conflict since I’m bringing it up?
Well, ask her about it. She is unlikely to tell you truth though.
If she has cheated, you basically made her lie to you about if she wants to be with you. This is not justification, but it is inevitable consequence of your approach.
Idk where you live! but if you town has a 'are we dating the same guy' fb page I would put up his pic so no one else fall for his bullshit
You two have a communication issue. You are angry but will not discuss things with him. Did you confront him about any of these issues? Did you actually tell him you are upset and angry with him?
What is the situation about going back to your family? Could you just leave right now and get back to them?
You guys say she wants attention like you guys know her or something.
Being sexually harrassed or flirted with can cause some women to react very differently. When I was harrassed (btw I have ptsd so I react bc of that) I would either freeze or become hostile. Also, I've rejected multiple men who would act violent towards me, so at that point how can I win?
I feel like you're low key victim blaming her. It's so easy for ppl to tell you to “just stand up for yourself” but it's easier said than done. This is a very tricky thing bc I've personally went through shit like this and was blamed for not saying anything bc God damnit I was 18 and these men were in their 40s-60s wtf am I supposed to do. Why can't these men leave us alone
and yes im controlling myself to stop looking through her social medias
Thanks for your response. I don’t have much to comment here but I do agree with you. I get hesitant to voice my opinions fully as she has a tendency to blow up and get irritated very easily and I’ve never been in a relationship like that before (I’m not the kind of guy to fight fire with fire I’m pretty calm and laid back). I need to work on voicing things that might upset me even if it does mean that it would likely result in an argument
Who finds the milk quantity to be disgusting from a grown man? Red Sail! Abandon ship!
Break up with your boyfriend, he deserves much better than you. I can't believe you wrote all this out and didn't think you were being an awful human being.
OP, I'm married to a man 13 years older than me. We got married when I was 21. We're happy, he isn't a manipulative asshole, age isn't necessarily everything. I completely understand where you're coming from.
However, I completely agree with this person. This is the textbook definition of why many age gap relationships are so problematic. If they aren't straight up based on you being a young and naive victim, then they're fine – but as a potential young naive victim, you're in a really bad spot to see the difference. “You're so mature for your age.” “If you really loved me, you would do X because that's what good girlfriends do.” “No, that's not how it's supposed to be – I'm older and I know this already, you need to trust me.”
I know you weren't seeking advice on this, but things like “I don't need your consent to shove it in your ass lol” are directly based on you being younger and not knowing any better. Someone his age would know that it's bullshit and not need to ask reddit. I wonder how many other red flags you've looked over before, because you didn't recognize them.
I feel you don't understand human, or male, anatomy
One's SKIN isn't going to discolor a toilet seat. Because, that's what covers all men's scrotum and penis. Skin. The same skin on your ass and thighs. Seriously.
Pretty sure the useful working life of toilet seats can handle your math of sitting
Or, just buy a new seat, periodically. Wth.
I think this is one of those boundaries or 'lines in the sand' that differ between relationships, and should probably be discussed between the partners. Some people might not care to know who their partners slept with before. Others may want to know, but don't mind that person still being in their partners life. Others may not be comfortable with that.
I really don't think theres a definitive answer either way, and I don't think OP or her partner are necessarily in the wrong for their actions. Depending how her partner reacts, they may just have discovered a difference/incompatibility in how they view/treat this particular point.
I’d add that in many other cultures, ‘jealousy’ is viewed very differently. It isn’t a negative trait, or seen as insecure. It’s part of demonstrating how much someone means to you and how attractive you find them. These little outbursts and questioning about who you talked to would be seen as cute and endearing and a bid for connection. It’s soooooo not my cup of tea, but it may be another cultural difference you need to address directly? Could explain why she picks a fight- she’s expecting you to find it cute but you just get more and more annoyed (as I would, by the way). Esther Perel talks about this quite a bit.